Things I Learned Playing The Dream League...

[Dreamchild]

• There will always be police chiefs who warmly embrace vigilantes.
  
• Politely requesting criminals to stop their illegal activities never actually stops said criminals.
  
• Pants are always more elastic than shirts.
  
• It's okay for a 12-year-old to wear shape-defining, tight spandex, but actual adults with developed bodies shun them.
  
• A feral child can have perfectly symmetrical and white teeth, a well-shaved body, and speak fluent English.
  
• Fat people are evil.
  

[The Masked Mallard]

• Touching a meteor will totally give you superpowers, though what kind you get are completely random.
  
• Young girls and boys and grown men who aren't involved in any romantic relationships can hang out together. It's not creepy or anything.
  
• Old people and baby animals are all capable of kicking ass.
  
• If you're blonde, about 12-years old, psychic, and British, watch out. Murphy's law will always be in effect for you.
  

[Savage]

Let's not forgot, guys -- Old Yeller dies in the end.

Seriously:

• Going inside the spooky, purportedly haunted house isn't good for your health. Yes, even if you're a superhero.
  
• If you're single and looking for a date, then pay a visit to your nearest national park. You can run into women asleep on the ground or freely roaming around.
  
• If you find a mouse in your home, don't kill it. It might be a superhero!
  

[Dreamchild]

• The next time you see a bear, give it a BIG HUG!!!
  

[Sunshine]

• Sunshine is pretentious.