Golden Oldies {Masked Mallard}

[Gilded Lily]

Duckburg was peaceful in the dead of night, though the night sounds were nothing like those of the Yukon. Instead of the owls hooting and the howl of wolves, there was the occasional noise of a car passing, or a siren off in the distance. The crickets were the same, though.

Not that anyone was around to hear them. The entire house was sound asleep, except for a shadow that moseyed along through the yard to the french windows.

Gilded Lily hadn't come to Duckburg to commit crimes. When she'd made Canada too hot to hold her, the gilt-edged thief had moved south of the border. With no place in particular to go, she'd just kept on until reaching the city. It was as good a place as any, and she might just drop in on old friends while she was here.

If only she hadn't seen that consarn newspaper article about the yahoo who lived in this house and his coin collection. It had pictures of a couple of gold coins, and when she saw them, that old gold-fever itch started up again.

And now, here she was, in her Gilded Lily costume, about to break into somebody's home.

They thought the high fence and the guard dog would protect them from burglars. Lily smiled into the darkness, thinking how soft and malleable gold was, how easy it was to bend bars once they were turned to gold, and how pretty the dog looked as a golden statue.

For the thousandth time, she cursed the strange gas she'd stumbled onto in the mine, not for giving her the power that egged her on to a life of crime, but because the things she transformed were only fool's gold.

Oh, well, water under the bridge. Turning her attention back to the window, the larcenous beauty broke the latch silently, pausing to listen for a moment to make sure all was well.

[The Masked Mallard]

Gilded Lily wasn't the only costumed duck on the prowl that night. The Masked Mallard hadn't actually even been on patrol. He had only noticed the intruder by accident.

Duckburg was thankfully less crime-ridden then Epcot City was, and the Gentlemen Crimefighter felt anger at seeing a criminal breaking and entering someone's house, no doubt with the intention of taking something that wasn't her's.

Blast these people! Why can't they go out and do an honest day's work instead of taking someone else's hard-earned money? He irritably thought. Sighing in annoyance, he continued to watch through his binoculars from the shadows of the tall trees in the home owner's yard.

[Gilded Lily]

Not a sound came from within. Lily let out the breath she'd been holding, lifted the hem of her skirt daintily, and stepped in through the French window.

It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness, but a stream of moonlight pouring in through the glass was more than enough to work by.

Now...the article in the paper showed a framed coin collection, displayed on a fireplace mantel. And, whaddaya know? There was a fireplace at the other end of the room, and there was that lovely collection of gold coins, just sittin' there.

"Jackpot," she whispered, unable to keep silence as the gleam of gold flashed in the moonlight.

Seconds later, Gilded Lily's silk skirts rustled back through the open window as she paused to glance around the yard, carrying the framed coins under one arm. "Easier'n shootin' fish in a barrel," she congratulated herself.

[The Masked Mallard]

Before the Masked Mallard's eyes, the thief disappeared inside the home. A look around the property had determined that she had no accomplices. Good.

He stepped across the flawless lawn, keeping quiet as possible as he did. While he was no Darkwing Duck, ears of venturing into dangerous situations and locations had taught him a thing or two. His eyes were on the window that she had slipped into, though there was a possibility of her using a different escape route.

When he saw that she was coming out, he tipped his top hat to the lady duck before addressing her in the “hero” voice he used while in costume. “I daresay you look more fit for a ball then a theft, milady.”

[Gilded Lily]

Lily's eyes widened for a moment behind her mask before she recovered from the surprise of meeting a man on the lawn.

"Well, now, stranger, is that an invitation? You look pretty dapper yourself."

Outwardly calm, the thieving belle wondered how she could be so unlucky as to run into one of those low-down costumed do-gooder varmints so soon.

"Maybe you know someplace with soft lights and romantic music where we two could get adquainted." Age had not staled her charms, and Goldie knew how to use 'em. Was there enough light for the caped duck to see her batting her lashes at him? They were one of her best features.

[The Masked Mallard]

If his fellow Dreamers had been there, then they would have seen the Masked Mallard initially react with surprise when the lady-thief clearly started to flirt with him. He had been expecting her to make a run for it, or swear at him, even an attempt to attack him. Not hear himself be called dapper and the invitation to go out on a date.

Chuckling, he stood a little straighter. The smile on his beak and the look in his eyes could be called dreamy -- that is, if one wanted to associate the word with a tough old codger like the disguised trillionaire. In a voice that had a stronger ring of his true accent, the Masked Mallard began to reply, "Well thank you. You know, you're not what I --" Blinking, he caught himself and gave a slight shake of his head, as if the gesture would rid him of his brief moment of "twitterpation", as some old-timers liked to call it.

He didn't want to admit that sometimes even he had a tendency to become mushy-eyed like a foolish boy when attractive ladies paid attention to him. But he was able to tell that even behind the mask this woman was quite fetching. And... wait, was she batting her eyelashes at him? He tried to push the image aside.

"Now see here madame. You've just committed a crime, and you need to be punished for it." A serious edge entered his voice. Folding his arms, the Masked Mallard gave her a stern look. "Now, just come along quietly."

[Gilded Lily]

"A crime?" Briefly, Lily tried to hide the filched frame behind her back, but it was obviously too late for that. "You mean this little ol' thing?" The light of the moon glinted off one of the gold coins.

"Now, then, handsome stranger," she breathed, taking a step closer to the costumed duck, "What would it take to get you to forget you ever saw this?" It wouldn't be the first time Goldie had used her charms to get out of a scrape with a lawman.

[The Masked Mallard]

"Aye." He dryly replied, skepticism in his hooded eyes as Lily attempted to play coy. "That 'little ol' thing.' " The brilliant shine from the coins as they caught the moonlight did not escape the Masked Mallard's gaze. He could recognize the glint of gold anywhere. He had spent the earlier years of his life mining the stuff in the Klondike.

Crossing his arms resolutely, the Mallard leveled a grave, almost haughty stare at the lovely... um, larcenous criminal. "Those baby blues won't work on me! As a crusader of justice, I am above bribery."

[Gilded Lily]

Lily's come-hither expression melted into one of resignation. "Yep. I can see that you mean it."

With a sigh, the Belle of the Klondike held out her hand. "Name's Gilded Lily." For some reason, she wanted him to know that. "You'd better take me in, then, pardner."

"Too bad," she continued with a shake of her curls. "You had distinct possiblilites."

All Goldie had to do was touch his arm, like so, and the caped duck was good as gold.

[The Masked Mallard]

"I appreciate the thought, Miss Lily, but I like where I presently am," The Mallard evenly replied. Contrary to the pride and relief he felt when he and the other Dreamers managed to bring in a criminal, particularly the arrogant/or dangerous ones, he was not taking any pleasure in doing this. He was pleased that Gilded Lily, as she had called herself, wasn't trying to put up a struggle, though he was careful to remain on his guard, given that he didn't know what all she was capable of.

"Speaking honestly, 'tis a shame that someone such as yourself is using her skills like this." The Scotsduck added.

Just as the Masked Mallard was about to order her to come along with him, something unexpected happened. The homeowner had awakened, and was now striding towards the two of them. Having spotted his priceless coin collection in the hands of Gilded Lily, the man's plump face was red with rage. "Thief!" He shouted, his eyes on the lady duck.

The Gentleman's Crimefighter swore under his breath. This situation had the potential to turn bad really quick. "Wait a minute! I have this under control!" He shouted at the man and stepped forward. The Mallard went ignored, as the human reached a hand out towards Gilded Lily, intending to take back his property.

[Gilded Lily]

Although this masked duck was admirably resisting her charms, Lily sensed that she was beginning to get to him. She had hopes that, given enough time and persuasion, he just might let his guard down enough for her to strike.

It was not meant to be, however, for their midnight stand-off was just then interrupted by an irate yokel in striped pajamas. "Shoot," whispered Goldie to herself as the fuming homesteader barrelled across the lawn, bellowing names at her.

Never mind that they were pretty accurrate names, they got her dander up. So when the big palooka dropped his meaty hand on her shoulder, she snarled, "You messed with the wrong gal, pardner, when you messed with Gilded Lily!"

One touch was all it took to turn the man into a golden statue.

Tarnation! There went the element of surprise, and any hope she had of turning her power on the Masked Mallard.

Slipping out of the man's golden grasp, Goldie had to think fast to turn this disaster to some kind of advantage.

"Well, now, handsome, it looks like my cards are on the table. Unless you want this yahoo to stay like this forever, you'd better consider lettin' me waltz outta here." She jerked a thumb in her late assailant's direction. "If you take me in, then he becomes a part of his own collection."

[The Masked Mallard]

The Masked Mallard was rendered temporarily speechless as he stared at the transformed man in front of him. No longer was the homeowner flesh and blood, but a solid gold statue thanks to Gilded Lily.

Normally he loved gold, but this was too much! He turned his gaze onto the appropriately-named thief once more. He considered Gilded Lily's words, visibly fuming at the situation he found himself in. He hated to let her go free -- what if she turned out to be more dangerous then he had given her credit for? A city of citizens changed into gold was not something he wanted on his conscience.

But what if she was telling the truth? The man was innocent in spite of his nasty temper (which the Scotsduck admittedly could understand -- he could be a hothead himself, after all). He didn't deserve such a fate.

Blast, the Mallard wished one of his teammates was here with him! Someone like She-Wolf would've no doubt tried to intimidate and rough Gilded Lily up to get her to return the man to normal, but he had the feeling that in such a situation, Lily would give as good as she got (on that note, the thought of those two hellcats crossing paths was an... interesting one). It just wasn't the Gentleman's Crimefighter's way to lay his hands on a lady however, especially one like Gilded Lily.

"Why should I believe you? I have a feeling this fellow will be stuck like this even if I did let you go." He challenged Gilded Lily.

[Gilded Lily]

Whoever was behind that mask was too cagey for his own good. Goldie had no other recourse but to play out the hand.

"If that's what you're thinkin', pard, then go ahead and arrest me. But don't say I didn't warn ya."

Tossing her curls saucily with her free hand, she waited for the Masked Mallard's answer, outwardly calm and unflappable, though her innards were tying themselves in knots at the possibility that her ruse might not work. The hoosegow loomed large in Lily's thoughts, and it wasn't a pretty picture.

[The Masked Mallard]

Narrowing his eyes slightly, the Masked Mallard trained his gaze on Gilded Lily. He didn't say anything in response to her ultimatum; just merely stared at her. He was painfully aware of the fact that the longer they stood here, the more time was wasted. Someone might see them. What if there was a time limit on Lily's powers, and the man couldn't be returned to normal after a certain amount of time?

"So you say you'll return this fellow to normal if I allow to you to leave here?" He slowly carefully asked.

[Gilded Lily]

"Yup. I give you my word of honor. Half an hour after I'm gone, he'll be back to normal." Come on, come on, take the bait already.

It was all Lily could do to keep from glancing around for that dog, the one she'd gilded upon first entering the estate. How long had it been? Forty minutes? Forty-five?

The golden gal extended her free hand, friendly-like. "Shake on it?"

If this didn't work, if the Mallard didn't let her off the hook, then Goldie was sunk, for, try as she might, she couldn't think of any other way out.

[The Masked Mallard]

Now, while he was willing to place his trust in Gilded Lily for the time being, the Masked Mallard wasn't about to go as far as to let her touch him. He kept his hands where they were, resting on top of one another on his cane.

"After seeing what happened to him?" The Mallard jerked his head over at the gold-encased homeowner. "I'll just take yer word for it. Go." He allowed a frustrated sigh to escape from between his bill.

[Gilded Lily]

"Suit yerself." She allowed the hint of a smile to play around the corners of her beak. "Your loss, pard."

Although she wanted more than anything to run, Gilded Lily settled for a lady-like stroll, affecting to appear as casual as possible.

This business had turned out better than seemed possible. Goldie had the swag. She'd keep the gold coins and sell off the others for some much-needed pocket money. And when a full hour was passed, that old cuss, whatever his name was, would revert to normal, and the Masked Mallard would think Lily had turned him back as promised. No need for him to know she didn't have that kind of control over her super-power.

The Masked Mallard...as she disappeared into the shadows, Goldie found her thoughts centered on the mysterious do-gooder. There was something about him that made her feel like a schoolgirl again. A gal could almost give up a life of crime fer a man like that.

Time for one parting shot: "See ya around, handsome. Next time, make it my treat."

Lily sashayed gracefully out through the gates with a silken rustle, but once out of sight of the crime-fighter, she hitched her skirts up to her knees and high-tailed it outta there as fast as two legs could take her. This gal had no intention of bein' anywhere near here when that watchdog came to.