Steamboat Dream League (Open)

[The Wastelander]

The Wastelander was really excited about this mission. Not only was this his first official Dream League assignment, but he was also going to the city he's always wanted to visit, St. Canard. The government had apparently invented some kind of technology so top secret that they couldn't even tell the Dream League what it was.

Wastelander was told not to look under the cloth that covered the machine. "I just don't understand how something could be so top secret that even we can't know what it is," he said to his Dream, League comrades, "I know they're the government, but WE have been protecting the top three cities of Calisota for a long time now. Don't you think they could give us some credit for that?"

[Quackerjack]

How to come up with the perfect new toy? How, how, how? That was the question that burned in Quackerjack's brain, such as it was.

The problem was, so many children would rather watch cartoons than play. And when they did play, they wanted their toys to be cartoon tie-ins.

But Quacky wasn't a TV producer; he didn't own the rights to any cartoons.

And that was the genesis of this newest creation of his: The Toonimator! It looked like an eight-foot television set, but it sent out hypnotic waves that mesmerized all those within a certain radius, making them see themselves (and others affected) as classic-style cartoon characters, complete with rubber-hose arms in vintage black and white.

Now boys and girls could play at being cartoons, instead of just watching them.

And St. Canard had the honor of being the test site!

[The Wastelander]

The Wastelander was quite surprised to see a giant TV in the middle of the city square when the Dream Leauge arrived in St Canard. To make matters more freaky, he thought he saw Quackerjack standing on top of it. "Uh, guys," he called to his fellow heroes, urging them to look out of his window, "You might want to take a look at this."

[Mechnician]

At her teammate's request, Mechnician hovered over to the window to have a look. She recognized the duck in the jester costume from the files she'd been studying, trying to make herself a useful member of the League.

"Oh, that's, um...Crackerjack? Something like that. That's a pretty interesting set he's got there. I wonder if it's high def."

Gadget had to admit that, for a villain, he didn't really look all that menacing. Must be the clown suit.

[The Wastelander]

Wastelander was a bit surprised that Mechnician wasn't taking this situation seiriously.

"Obviously," Wastelander said, trying to explain the weight of the situation, "you haven't fought Quackerjack before. Then again, neither have I. The point is this guy is really bad news. The TV set has to have some kind of sinister purpose. Therefore, we should ask the driver to stop so we can kick some Quackerjack butt."

Luckily, the driver overheard this and stop the car immediately. "Always willing to give a hand to the good guys," he said, explaining himself.

The Wastelander got out of the car, drank his paint concoction to give himself power, and ran off to take on Quackerjack.

[Savage]

Delbert Doppler was one of the heroes who had been called upon for this particular assignment. He had never been to St. Canard before, and was almost acting like your stereotypical enthusiastic tourist, not having done a great deal of traveling before joining the Dream League due to being something of a homebody.

On the way to the metropolis, he had stared out of the window at the Audubon Bridge and the other landmarks. He listened to the Wastelander as he aired his annoyance about the government being tight-lipped when it came to their invention. "Whatever it is, it must be highly important, which means that the criminal element is probably very interested in getting their hands on it. Perhaps they're scared of one of us being compromised by a villain somehow." Delbert commented casually.

"I thought his name was Paddywhack?" Doppler remarked as he joined Mechnician at the window to see what was going on outside. Quackerjack and a giant television set? What was the meaning of this?

Their driver pulled over to the side of the road to let the heroes out so they could do battle with the clownish criminal.

"Um, shouldn't he wait for the rest of us before rushing out there himself?" The canine asked, looking to the other Dreamers as he watched the rabbit empower himself before charging off.

[Mechnician]

"You know Wastelander...always jumping into stuff, never worrying that he might not be able to handle it."

Mechnician flew out the window after her colorful teammate. "We can't let him take on this villain all by himself. I'm gonna help. You can wait for the others and tell them what's going on."

The little mouse wasn't worried much about Quackerjack. After all, he was using a machine of some kind, and her power allowed her to control machines. So this should be an easy take-down.

[The Wastelander]

When Wastelander approached Quackerjack, he used the abilities gained from his Paint formula to materialize a giant boxing glove. "Yo Quackerjack," he said, knocking Quackerjack off the TV with the boxing glove, "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to watch to much TV."

Obviously, this was going to really piss off this criminal jester. Wastelander really didn't care at the moment. This was his first real super villain and he wanted this one to know he was ready for him.

[Quackerjack]

"We're almost ready for the test phase, Mr. B," said Quackerjack to his puppet friend who perched nearby. "Just one more little tweak." Mr. Banana-Brain said nothing.

Before the jester knew what was happening, he was knocked for a loop, and quite painfully. "Hey, what gives?!" he complained, rubbing a sore spot as he glanced around for the cause of his distress.

Some guy in a costume. Probably another pesky super-hero. But he was a sharp dresser.

"Watch who you're walloping, long-ears!" shouted Quacky, springing to his jingling feet. "For your information, smarty-pants, this invention will help kiddies to watch less TV. So there!"

Rats! With a hero on the scene, the fun would be over before it started. The only thing to do was to hit the switch NOW!

The device hummed to life with waves of color flashing from the oversized screen, waves that would make the do-gooder and anyone else in the vicinity see themselves in cartoon fashion.

"By the way...nice costume."

[Quiverwing Quack]

Quiverwing Quack was not officially a Dream League member thanks to her overprotective father but someone needed to watch over St Canard when Darkwing Duck was away and who better than the hero’s very own daughter? Her evening had started out normal enough; math homework turned into doodles of zombies attacking her school and when the apocalypse comic was complete, she crammed the worksheet into her backpack and grabbed her skateboard. Fearlessly she sped down the hall, grasping the rail at the top of the stairs to support her as she skidded around the corner, flying down the steps with the front wheels of her board popped in the air. Leaning forward, the arched wheels hit the ground as she came off the last one, and she pushed her way to the living room sofa before skidding to a halt. Gosalyn kicked the board up, propping it against the edge of the couch, and belly flopped onto the cushions. Digging the tv remote out from under a pillow, she changed the channel to her favourite television program: Sea-cret Duck, a cartoon that followed the adventures of Agent Goldeneye.

Instead of the show appearing after the intro credits, the screen flickered to a local television reporter in downtown St Canard, a giant television located behind him.

”We interrupt this program with Breaking News! The criminal Quackerjack has erected the television you see behind me and all citizens are urged to stay away from the downtown core. Police are on the way and -” a blinding rainbow of light caused Gosalyn to avert her gaze. When she looked back the reporter was standing there, looking a little more than shaken. ”What- what’s happening to me?” he demanded. ”I- I- my arms! I- Gary! What happened to you?” He must have been referring to the cameraman because the device clattered to the ground, showing a perfect view of their feet and a car slamming into a fire hydrant on a distant street.

”I don’t know-“ Gary answered. ”You- boss, you – you look so flat! You look like a – like a cartoon!”

Suddenly the newsroom appeared with two puzzled anchors calling out to their distraught colleague. Gosalyn shut the tv off; she didn’t need to see anything else.

“This looks like a job for Quiverwing Quack!" the girl declared, slamming a fist into the palm of her other hand.

[The Wastelander]

Wastelander was more than puzzled after the rainbow lights had met his gaze. Everything he saw was in black and white and everyone he saw looked like something out of 1928, including himself. He looked at Quackerjack with a hint of skepticism.

"Really," he said sarcastically, "This was your evil plan. To turn the St. Canard into a retro giant cartoon. While I respect your artistic vision, this has to be the weirdest thing I've seen a dastardly villain do. I really hate killing a man with such a passion for animation."

The Wastelander pulled out a vial of green liquid called Thinner.

"Still," he said before drinking the green concoction and emitting a green aura of destruction, "You must be punished."

Wastelander shot giant green lasers from his hands straight at Quackerjack.

[Quackerjack]

"It works, it works," chortled the clownish villain, gazing at the black-and-white world around him. "And look at my arms! Woo hoo! I'm a cartoon!" He waved the rubbery appendage with glee, stretching it this way and that.

This was your evil plan.

"It's not an evil plan, Mr. Know-It-All. It's a fun plan. This new toy is gonna be number one on every kid's wish list."

I really hate killing a man with such a passion for animation.

Quackerjack's tassels stood right up in surprise for a second on hearing that threat.

"Killing? Looks like you're the evil one around here! Trying to spoil little kids' harmless fun!"

Dashing nimbly aside at the appearance of two big green grey guns, the jester duck continued, "What's that Mr. Banana Brain? Y'know, I think you're right. This is a clear case of self-defense."

"Here I am , minding my own business, when some costumed loony assaults and threatens me. I guess I'm justified in doing...this!"

Pulling six yo-yos from an inner pocket, Quackerjack began spinning the toys around and around on ever-lengthening strings. "This trick is called "The Pinwheel," but for you we'll rename it "The Pinhead!"

Of course, the yo-yos were steel-reinforced, making them very dangerous weapons.

[Mechnician]

Mechnician flew from the car to the vicinity of the battle, trailing her long-earred teammate. As she approached the machine, coming within its sphere of influence, the little mouse stopped short with shock.

"Golly, the whole world's turned black-and-white! Just like a retro sitcom!"

"Kind of a weird plan, if you ask me." She continued to the machine that was causing all the fuss, reaching out mentally to examine its workings and then take control of it. Apparently it had a greater range of influence than she did.

Her concentration on the strange device, Gadget was easy prey for the yo-yos of doom. One of the strings wrapped around her like a bolas, much faster than she could react or dodge; the weight of the deadly toy dragged Mechnician to the ground where she fell with a thud.

[Savage]

"Good idea, Mechnician!" Delbert shouted after the golden-haired mouse as she flew out to help confront Quackerjack. He and the Wastelander had started fighting.

Savage was less then pleased with the idea of staying behind to wait for the other heroes to arrive, but presently Delbert was the one who had control of his -- well, their body, so Savage wasn't in much position to do anything other then bitterly grumble in his mind.

Even from where he standing, brilliant waves of color, like an exploding rainbow, filled the ex-professor's eyes and temporarily blinded him. Clutching at his eyes, he staggered back. Quackerjack must have activated that giant television set of his!

Delbert's vision returned, but inexplicably, everything was in black and white. What's more, not only was the world black and white, but everything around him looked like something out of one of those old-timey cartoons, himself included, much to his own horror.

It wasn't a life-threatening situation per say, but it certainly was an annoying and bizarre one. Deciding that Mechnician and Wastelander needed his aid, Delbert ran as fast as he could in the direction of the battle. Even inanimate objects like cars and trees were seemingly transformed, coming to life, their faces smiling at him and singing.

This was going to be one of those missions, wasn't it?

[The Wastelander]

The Wastelander managed to evade the yo-yos of screaming metal death by jumping up into the air and landing behind Quackerjack. Unfortunately, being still under the influence of Thinner, Wastelander had gained quite a mischievous personality.

"Ya know something, Mr. Harley Quinn with a Doodle," Wastelander said with a Groucho Marx like demeanor, "I wonder how bad an atomic wedgie would hurt when the victim is wearing tights. Let's find out shall we."

Wastelander then pulled Quackerjack's under-tights over the duck jester's head and laughed with mischievous glee.

He ran up to Mechnician and used a tiny monochrome green laser to free her from the strings of the yo-yos.

"You take care of that machine," he told her, "I'll keep having some fun with Krusty the Duck over there."

"Wait until he sees my heroic side," he thought to himself, taking out a vial of paint, "He'll be so confused his brain will probably explode."

[Quiverwing Quack]

As familiar as she was with Quackerjack’s schemes, this was especially bizarre. Peering through her binoculars, she watched from several blocks away as ordinary citizens ran around in a frenzy, while in her little corner of the world, people were holed up safely inside apartments and shops. Quiverwing’s eyes narrowed and she zeroed in on the mega television screen, a small gasp escaping from her bill as she watched Quackerjack battle members of the Dream League.

“No sign of Darkwing,” she murmured, relieved.

Based on her observations, it seemed only those within a certain range were suffering on the streets below. After tucking the binoculars away and notching an arrow with a rope, Quiverwing swung her way across city blocks, pausing to ensure she was still within a safe distance of the chaos. The obvious source was the television and though she still lingered some distance away, she notched another arrow. Wedged into the end of it where the tip should be was a minuscule tile saw blade. Hopefully the uniquely tipped device would puncture the mammoth screen and cause enough damage to disable it.

“Easy…”

Quiverwing let the arrow fly.

[Quackerjack]

A whoosh of air and an arrow embedded itself into Quackerjack's device. "My genuine imitation mahogany console!" he shrieked. "Some people have no appreciation for quality!"

First, assaulted by that tight-wearing rabbit, and now this! There was only one thing to do.

The duck jester dropped to a seat on the curb and began to bawl his eyes out. "Everybody hates me," he wailed, "Even when I try to do something nice for all the little kiddies."

[Mechnician]

Cut free from the yo-yo string bonds, Mechnician tossed a heartfelt thank you to Wastelander before zipping into the air once again.

"Now to see what makes this thing tick," she monologued, referring to the giant tv set. But who could concentrate on an invention with all that crying going on?

"Gee, he does have a point. I mean, he hasn't really done anything criminal. Not today, at least." Gadget felt kinda sorry for the former toymaker. And guilty for joining in the attack.

Floating closer to Quackerjack, she tried to console him. "Y'know, it's not really badly damaged. This little scratch could be fixed in no time." Having your invention damaged was something she could relate to.

[Quackerjack]

As the rodent hero hovered closer to Quackerjack, the lunatic duck sprang up and snatched her right out of the air. Had it all been an act to gain sympathy? Or the result of genuine emotion? Even he wasn't sure.

"Okay, Waste-of-Time-er," sneered Quacky, "Your playtime is over! And that goes for whoever shot that arrow, too!"

Pulling a set of his signature plastic teeth from a hidden pocket, the Clown Prince of Crime held its snapping jaws a hair's-breadth from Mechnician's throat. "Surrender, or I take a bite outta this crimefighter!"

[Savage]

"Oh no you don't!" A cultured voice shouted from behind the Harlequin Hooligan.

Delbert had arrived on the scene. On the way there, he had noted that he still seemed able to get around relatively well, even though his limbs now appeared to have all of the consistency of cooked pasta.

Seeing Mechnician in deadly peril, he quickly got over his disturbing new appearance. He launched himself at Quackerjack, intending to tackle him so she could get free.

[Quackerjack]

A voice threatened from behind. Was this some new hero come to spoil the fun?

Quackerjack glanced back quickly to see...some guy jumping at him. What, a civilian? John Q. Public getting into the act?

The lunatic duck somersaulted out of the way of the clumsy attack, landing easily behind the bespectacled pooch. "Listen, Four-Eyes, you'll just hurt yourself that way. You don't wanna play with the big boys."

Quacky shook his head in pity for the guy, clearly out of his league. "Hey, bud, do you have any kids? Bring them down for a free demonstration of the latest from Quackerjack Toys, Inc. I call it "Interactive Cartoons." Patent pending.

His enormous beak swivelled to point to the top of his equally large television. "What's that, Mr. Banana Brain? Oh, really? Well, maybe you can think up a better name, Mr. Know-It-All."

"Oh. Hmmm...okay." Turning back to his scholarly would-be attacker, Quackerjack continued, "I call it "YouToons." Patent pending."

[Quiverwing Quack]

Though not an official Dream League member, Quiverwing had come to know the team through her father. Despite being disappointed that the tile saw had missed its mark, she threw caution to the wind and was now close enough to recognize Mechnician in Quackerjack’s grasp.

“Dad warned me about rotten teeth,” she quipped, adding a sour, “And those look pretty rotten to me.” As she notched a collapsible arrow, she called down from the rooftop,

“Give it up, Quackerjack!”

The arrow was loosed just as Delbert tackled the super villain, speeding toward the chomping toy; accurate aim should leave it buried in the base of the mouth, propping it up to prevent the jaws from closing. An arrow with rope tied to the shaft and a super glued dart fastened to the top made an effective zip line and she zoomed towards the action, using an old handlebar to slide down.

“I am Quiverwing Quack!” she announced. “The hero who gives crooks the shaft!” Darkwing taught her to strike fear into the hearts of enemies by making a dramatic entrance and using a snappy catchphrase.

Dropping a foot off the ground, she landed beside Mechnician, declaring sweetly, “It looks like we have a serious case of tooth decay!” Lifting the handlebar from the rope, Quiverwing clubbed the set of teeth for good measure and turned to the mouse, crouching so they were at eye level.

“Can you stop this thing?” She tossed her head in the direction of the television set.

It was difficult not to acknowledge their new 'appearances' but Gosalyn did her best to ignore that queer feeling in the pit of her stomach and focus on the task at hand. The sooner they were out of this mess, the sooner they were back to normal. And Quackerjack back in prison!

[The Wastelander]

Now that Wastelander had taken a gulp of paint, he had donned a more heroic and less mischievous personality. He used his Paint abilities to create a grey giant frying pan.

"Prepare to face the skillet of justice," he said, in a voice that sounded like the Animated Series version of Batman, "For I am The Wastelander."

[Savage]

His intended attack missing his much more agile target, who flipped out of the way to land behind him, Delbert whirled around to face Quackerjack, bristling at the taunts ensuing from the duck.

"Considering how dangerous your toys really are, I wouldn't want any kids anywhere near them, you madman!" Okay, so maybe he could use some more lessons in dishing out insults from Duck Avenger.

He was briefly distracted by the presence of a newcomer, a young duckling in a Robin Hood-like costume. She was successful in getting Mechnician out of harm's way, much to his relief.

As he and Wastelander squared off against the clown criminal, Delbert folded his arms across his chest and addressed Quackerjack again. "Change everything back, before I get angry." In his mind, having Savage fight Quackerjack would be the equivalent of using an uzi to kill a mouse, but Delbert wanted to end this madness.

[Quackerjack]

It took a triple-backflip to dodge the giant frying pan that came out of nowhere, catapulting Quackerjack onto the top of the TV set where he scooped up his partner in crime and began to whimper, "What am I gonna do, Mr. B? It's a whole army of do-gooders! I can't take them all on by my lonesome!"

"That's why you have me, chum."

"Then, do something! Because I'm really not all that keen on the YouToon. The stretchy arms are cool, but this black-and-white stuff has got to go."

Fortunately, the anthropomorphic banana had something up his sleeve. "Here, try this and quit whining."

"Oh, goody! That's one of my favorites!" So saying the crazed duck produced a can of Screwy String, spraying the contents into the air where the stuff instantly coalesced into a tangled net that dropped onto the heroes below.

"Hope that didn't make you too angry, Professor!" he cackled. "Whatta ya gonna do, think at me?"

[Mechnician]

A blur of motion and the menacing toy teeth were skewered by an arrow. She'd been saved by a costumed kid, of all people!

Of course, Mechnician could've used her power to stop the teeth from chattering, but Quackerjack could still cut her with them. And she had no way of untying herself. Fortunately, her powers weren't hampered just because her arms were.

“Can you stop this thing?”

"Sure. It's actually not that complicated," which fact Gadget knew now that she'd had time to mentally analyze the contraption. "Or really that dangerous, either. I think Quackerjack himself is a much bigger menace."

As if to prove her point, a sticky pink net dropped over the assembled league. And their juvenile guest.

Undaunted by yet another toy sent to bind her, Mechnician reached out mentally to the duck himself.

His innocent-looking outfit was loaded with doo-dads and gew-gaws of one kind or another. With a mere thought, Gadget animated another set of teeth in his back pocket, which treacherously chomped away at their creator.

"A little mental energy, and his toys will bite the hand that feeds 'em. Well, not exactly the hand..."

[The Wastelander]

As soon as the Screwy String was unleashed, Wastelander used his Paint abilities to create a pair of scissors and cut through the net.

Still under the personality changing influence of the concoction, it was obvious that his mischevous side was taken over by a more heroic side. Therefore, he had changed from wanting to punish Quackerjack himself to leaving it to the police. This gave him motivation to make sure Delbert did not lose control and become Savage.

"Quackerjack," he said, trying to explain how much of a mistake the jester was making in angering his partner, "you do not want to make my comrade too angry. He will kill you and I want to leave your fate to the police."

Wastelander turned to Quiverwing. "I thank you for helping us, young one," he said, "but you might want to get out while you still can. If my partner gets mad, this could get ugly."

[Quiverwing Quack]

Quiverwing wriggled helplessly beneath the gooey webbing, unable to reach her quiver to cut her way free. “You can say that again,” she groaned to the mouse. Luckily, the rabbit had them out quick as a flash and Gosalyn watched with smug satisfaction as Quackerjack was – quite literally – taken in the rear.

“Cool beans!” she admired spiritedly, momentarily dropping her heroine persona. The tension that filled the air was as tight as the drawn string on her bow. Quiverwing knew Quackerjack was not one to reason with; The Wastelander’s efforts would be futile and she’d be ready to knock some sense into the insane jester by slicing through bundled up pipes hanging high from an abandoned crane. Currently the tile saw arrow was trained on Quackerjack, but one wrong move and it’d be raining steel.

The Wastelander’s concern broke her concentration however and she rounded on him with a annoyed, “Young one? Don’t you know who I am?” Surely Darkwing Duck had told his teammates about her… unless they still thought of her as a little kid, regardless which ruffled her feathers even more. Quiverwing Quack was a protector of St. Canard! At least Mechnician seemed to appreciate her.

"I'm staying," she told Wastelander firmly.

[The Wastelander]

Wastelander admired this 's courage. It reminded him of when Ortensia bravely took that bullet for him a long time ago.

"Very well," he said, "I was only testing your courage, anyway. Still, my comrade, Dotor Delbert looks like he could go a little crazy. You might want to prepare yourself."

He created a bunker with the Paint abilities.

"You don't have to use it if you don't want to," he said, making sure she knew he had confidence in her, "It's just to be safe. Beleive me. I have confidence you won't need it. It's just that your parents might sue us if anything happened to you. You DO have parent, right?"

[Quackerjack]

What a bummer! The heroes sliced through his stringy trap in no time! He'd have to get even somehow.

Something moved in Quackerjack's back pocket just as he'd thought up a really good taunt. "Silly rabbit, those tricks are for--eeyowtch!!" It was a set of his own chattering teeth, only now they were biting him!

"Traitor!" he berated the turncoat teeth, pulling them out and hurling them in the general direction of his foes.

"This isn't working, Mr. B. There's too many of them! What should I do?" In times of duress, Quacky always turned to his closest friend.

"There's only one thing to do, Bubie: run like crazy!"

As usual, Mr. Banana Brain had the right idea. The lunatic duck lost no time in snatching up the puppet, leaping from the oversized TV and running like a rabbit away from the Dream Leaguers.