Gold Fever {El Tirador/Gilded Lily}

[Mechnician]

One of the best things about living in a big city was the culture. There was always so much to do: plays, concerts, museums...and it was the latter that had attracted Gadget's interest today.

Epcot City's Everquack Museum was hosting a temporary exhibit of Central American artifacts, and the little mouse thought it the perfect place to take Panchito.

Gadget felt a sort of maternal concern for the rooster; he was so apt to get himself into trouble if not kept busy, and his life's opportunities had been so limited. So she took it upon herself to invite him to the museum.

Riding inside the brim of his sombrero made for a comfortable seat as the unlikely pair entered the cool, echoing hall that housed the Aztec treasures.

Gadget jumped from her perch onto the railing that surrounded the central glass case, reading the denscription of its contents.

"Wow, this mortar and pestle are over eight hundred years old! And made of solid gold!"

[El Tirador]

Panchito barely stifled a yawn. He had only come along on this outing to be nice to la ratoncita Gadget. That, and he'd never been to a museum before in his life; anything novel had the potential to be fun.

But this place wasn't fun, it was boring with a capital "b." Nothing to look at but a lot of old junk. The fact that it was Mexican did not make it more exciting to watch things that never moved.

The only thing in the whole building that set the rooster's heart beating was the tour guide, a pretty little brunette with freckles. But when Panchito suggested that they join the tour group of six-year-olds, Gadget had nixed the idea muy rápidamente.

So, the vacquero rested his elbow on the corner of the display case and his chin in his hand and tried to stay awake.

This mortar and pestle are over eight hundred years old!

The only kind of mortar that interested this rooster was the exploding kind.

[Gilded Lily]

Goldie had told herself she was just going to look at the display. After all, viewing ancient Aztec gold would be a pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

But the lure was too great. Seeing that lovely gold, her fingers just yearned to touch it, to have it.

Exit Goldie; enter Gilded Lily.

She probably should've come back later, when the museum was closed. But her last midnight caper ended in a near-disaster. Maybe the direct approach would yield different results.

And it seemed to be working. The first few patrons who saw her only stared, too stunned to know what to make of the costumed duck. Besides, if anybody got too nosy, there was her golden touch to contend with.

Gilded Lily sashayed boldly to the pedestal on which rested an elaborate headdress with golden trimmings, lifting it off the display with hardly a glance at the others in the room.

[Mechnician]

Gadget was too busy reading the description of the exhibit to notice the masked woman. But one of the guards was paying much better attention. "What do you think you're doin', lady?" he bellowed, one hand on his holster, the other on the mystery duck's shoulder.

This brought Gadget's head up. It only took a second to see that a robbery was in progress. "Uh-oh," she whispered. Hopefully the guard would have everything under control without much trouble.

[Gilded Lily]

It sure was a purty thing.

Lily's blue eyes glittered to match the treasure. But when a security guard dropped his meaty hand on her shoulder, the Golden Gal's eyes turned hard as concrete. If there was one thing Goldie hated, it was bein' man-handled.

"What am I doin'? Why, I'm just collectin' my property." As she spoke, her hand touched his, and in an instant, the guard was frozen into a golden statue. "Now the museum has a new exhibit, courtesy of Gilded Lily."

As she turned to exit, she addressed the rest of the onlookers, some of whom stood gaping while others were already seeking the nearest exit. "Anybody care t' join this feller?"

[El Tirador]

before Panchito could quite keel over from sheer boredom, a disturbance began across the room. His head snapped up, eyes alert for something, anything interesting.

Aha! A masked lady stealing something!

Never had Panchito been so happy to see a crime commited!

Heedless of his so-called secret identity, the vacquero pulled out his mask and costume, switching identities as fast as he could.

Lucky for him, most of the people in the room were either running away or focused on the thief.

[Mechnician]

Gadget looked on with a kind of horror as Panchito switched to his costumed identity in broad daylight.

"You're not supposed to do that..." she began, though without any assurance that her companion was listening.

Oh, well, she'd better suit up herself if she was going to be any help catching this crook. There was plenty of room back in the corner behind a display of pre-Cambrian sculpture for a quick change, and then Mechnician flew out into the room and headed toward the thief. "I think you'd better put that back. Right now."

[El Tirador]

This was Panchito's first real chance to do something as El Tirador.

Not that he had all that much interest in fighting crime; he just got into this game to meet girls. But inactivity never sat well with this rooster. And besides, if he did a good job, there were bound to be some girls who felt grateful enough to at least give him a thank-you kiss.

El Tirador stepped between the masked lady and the exit, hands on his hips.

"Un momento, señora," he began, searching for some clever quip, "But this is el museo...the museum. The gift shop is around the corner."

It was witty banter like that that made the girls sit up and take notice.

[Gilded Lily]

Gilded Lily's escape route was suddenly blocked by a rooster. Mexican, by the looks of 'im. Unless it was just his gimmick.

Nope, his talk made it pretty clear he was the genuine article.

And, Goldie noted, there was a second super-hero coming 'round on her left. Tarnation! She'd walked into an ambush!

The larcenous beauty sized up the situation. That little flyin' varmint could stay out of reach of Goldie's powers, so she addresed the cowpoke instead. "You wouldn't shoot a woman, now, would you, tough guy?"

[El Tirador]

The habitual confidence of Panchito's stance wavered slightly. He'd never drawn on a woman, much less fired upon one.

"Ah...no, Senora, never have I done such a theen'. So, let us no break a perfect record. Come alon' quietly, yes?"

If she said 'no,' what would he do?

[Mechnician]

Uh-oh, it looked like her partner might be headed for a little bit of trouble. Panchito didn't want to shoot a lady. Well, thought Gadget, that was commendable. But it also might allow the bad guy to get away.

Swooping down a little to join in the conversation, the brainy mouse put on her hero face, trying to look as dangerous as she could manage.

"El Tirador and I aren't gonna let you walk off with museum property, even if you are female. Oh. I didn't mean 'if.' Anybody can see that you are female. I meant 'since.' " Just because somebody was a villain, it was still no reason to insult them.

[Gilded Lily]

Goldie could no longer ignore the mouse. But then, she didn't have to.

As the tiny hero flew lower and closer, Gilded Lily made her move. It was risky, as she didn't know what powers these two might possess. But risks were part of the game.

Casually, she removed one glove while keeping them talking. "Look, there's no need t'get all het up about this. It's just a misunderstanding. See, I put it down."

She did indeed drop the headdress, but swung her long opera glove at the levitationg rodent. It wrapped around her on contact, and Lily's touch turned it instantly into a golden straight-jacket.

[Mechnician]

Mechnician had been hoping she could reason with the masked lady and avoid an actual fight. But, no, the thief attacked her with a long satin glove, wrapping it around her in a flash. Which would be bad enough when you're not even three inches tall.

But before Gadget could extricate herself from the fabric prison, it somehow turned to...gold...well, that was unexpected.

The golden glove was so heavy that it dragged Mechnician down to the floor, where she crashed in a tiny heap, stunning her for a few moments.

[El Tirador]

When El Tirador saw his teammate go down, he figured it was time to do more than just threaten. A slight shift of the wrist and he switched ammo before pointing his six-gun at the would-be thief.

"I do no have to shoot you to stop you," he quipped, firing above the lady's head. A weighted net expanded into the air, dropping down onto his adversary.

That ought to hold her, he thought with satisfaction, giving his pistola a jaunty spin around his finger before holstering it.

[Gilded Lily]

He did shoot! Goldie was banking on the rooster being a little too squeamish to fire on a gal.

Just when she thought her number was up, she realized it wasn't a bullet at all, but a net. Less lethal, but just as dangerous to a thief who needed a quick exit.

The net closed over her faster than she could hope to dodge. Now what? If she used her super-power on the ropes, they would just weigh her down more. Given time, Lily could extricate herself, but not with this yahoo standing guard.

"Okay, pardner, you got me fair and square. I guess I'm no match for the famous El Tirador." Yeah, like she'd ever heard of this guy before today.

It wasn't easy to move at all inside the net, but Gilded Lily managed to drag it a few inches closer to her captor, swishing her skirts a bit at the same time. "I bet your girlfriend is mighty proud of you."

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Goldie continued the act. "If only I'd met a real man like you before I turned to a life of crime."

[El Tirador]

Okay, pardner, you got me fair and square

Actually, El Tirador was relieved that the lady gave up so easily. He wasn't sure he wanted to fight a girl. In fact, now that he'd got her, he wasn't exactly sure what to do with her.

"Hokay, then we will wait for la policía." and then they could worry about it. Panchito took an easier stance, six-guns lowered, though still at the ready, just in case.

If only I'd met a real man like you before I turned to a life of crime

Boy, Lily was laying it on pretty thick. And Panchito was just lovin' it!

"Ah, Senora Lily," he answered, gazing dreamily into her eyes, "It is never too late for a change, si?" Even behind that mask he could see she was much older than he was. And yet, there was something about her that made the vacquero's heart beat like a rhumba.

[Mechnician]

While Gadget sought desperately for some machine to activate that would help her out of this jam, her friend caught the crook with his net-bullet. "Good work, El Tirador," she called out encouragingly.

Now he would come to her rescue. Soon. any time now.

Hmmm, her partner seemed more interested in looking at Gilded Lily than anything else. And they both seemed to have forgotten about her.

"Um, El Tirador? A little help here. And maybe you shouldn't get so close to the bad guy. She does have a super power, y'know."

[Gilded Lily]

And maybe you shouldn't get so close to the bad guy. She does have a super power, y'know

If that little rodent didn't button it up, she'd go and spoil everything! Goldie had to make her move before El Tirador got wise.

Reaching one hand through the net toward him, the golden thief cooed, "I bet you know how to show a girl a good time."

She batted her eyelashes to keep him off guard. "How'sabout one little kiss before the Mounties come to take me away?" Closer...closer...contact!

One touch, and the do-gooder was frozen in place, turned to gold in mid-pucker.

"Sorry, cowboy, but you're not really my type," she quipped, taking the time now to disentangle herself from the confines of the net. "You gave it a good shot, honey," she remarked to her rodent foe, "But all you'll get today is Gilded Lily's glove."

Snatching up the golden mask, she dashed for the door with a speed that belied her years. The police couldn't be too far off; she had to hurry. But on the way out, Goldie planted an impish kiss on the cheek of the golden statue that was El Tirador.

And then, she was gone.

[Mechnician]

"Oh, no!" Mechnician shrieked as she watched her comrade turn to stone. Or gold, or whatever.

Now, Gadget didn't get angry too often, but hurting her friends was one thing that could send her over the edge. "Why, you rotten villain! Take that...!"

Take what? She was having a tough time finding a machine to use against the thief. So, the brainy mouse went with the sprinkler system. Her mental powers gave the command, and a fine mist of droplets poured down on Gilded Lily. and on everything else in the room.

It wasn't very effective. In fact, it hardly slowed the baddie at all. She escaped all the same, and Gadget was left to bewail her helplessness and the loss of Panchito, poor guy. With a sniffle of sympathy she shut off the indoor shower.

Besides, the water was filling up El Tirador's sombrero and spilling over the edge. It made him look like a bird bath or something.

The police would arrive soon enough and pry Mechnician out of her golden prison. And, though she didn't know it yet, her friend would turn into himself again in about an hour. But that wouldn't squelch Gadget's desire to capture this crook and get a little payback.