Ooh, my sssacroiliac...

[Kaa]

A long, lazy yawn quietly echoed out from a rather large tree. The prospect of a yawning tree may seem pretty odd, but it was, in fact, what was in the tree that was yawning.

Partially hidden within the leaves and branches was a brown snake - and, if one were to inspect closer, they would see that it was a particularly long specimen. Even this is putting it lightly; the reptile would probably measure over 27 feet (maybe even 30) if laid out straight on the ground. The great size, earthy colors and spotted markings all suggested that this snake was of the species Python reticulatus.

The snake's lengthy body was lazily hung over a number of branches, as it slowly awoke from its nap. The snake smacked its lips sleepily, and looked around with lazy eyes, slipping its forked tongue out to examine its surroundings; and upon doing so, it became rather surprised, its big yellow eyes shooting open.

"Hmm... I... don't ssseem to be in the jungle, anymore..." The snake spoke to itself in a soft voice, as it looked around in confusion.

After a moment of trying to figure things out, the serpent decided not to worry (he came to the conclusion that he was sleep-slithering, again), and to try and enjoy this new environment... although, he knew he would probably miss his favorite sleeping tree, sooner or later.

"Well, as long as I'm here... I sssuppose I'll go and fetch some breakfast... or, is it lunch?" The python began to move his head down the thick trunk of the tree - and, in tow, his long body trailed after.

[woodlore]

"All right!" a mush-mouthed, adult, male voice exclaimed from just beyond the python's sights. "Now, where was I?"

It was J. Audubon Woodlore, the ranger of Brownstone National Park. The bald and stout man, after meeting a (rather rude) Katrina Van Tassel, had continued his exploration. Since it was winter in Brownstone National Park, he was not needed, and therefore on his yearly vacation. For this year, he chose to explore exotic locations in and surrounding Fantasmic Kingdom.

"Oh, yes," he said with a light giggle as he pulled out a handbook and flipped through the pages. "A good guidebook is essential."

[Kaa]

Kaa had not even moved half of his body to the ground when he heard the voice. A wide grin immediately grew on the snake's face, for he recognized that voice as the sound of a...

"Man..." he hissed in delight, then chuckled giddily. "How lucky of me to come across my favorite sssnack so quickly..." The snake resumed slithering down the tree, moving quickly with excitement. It had been too long for his liking since he's had a taste of man... his last attempt to catch one (and a cub, at that) only resulted in a knot in his tail (which took days to untie...).

Kaa continued to make his way down the tree until, finally, his tail touched the ground. With total silence, the great python followed the scent of the human, flicking his tongue out to make sure where his prey was. Soon enough, the target was in his sights, and Kaa's eager grin grew even wider.

Not only was it an adult man... it was a very wide adult man, husky and full of scrumptious flesh and fat. What a treat this was! Kaa couldn't help but softly giggle to himself in sheer joy.

Kaa laid low beneath the foliage to stay hidden, as he waited for the right opportunity to emerge...

[woodlore]

Audubon was unaware of the great python's presence, of course. He happily closed his guidebook and slipped it back into his travel jacket.

"Heavens to Betsy," the pudgy man said to himself, "there's so much to do! Oh, dear; even in vacations I find myself busy!" He straightened his glasses, tugged the front of his jacket with both hands, and turned.

He was just about to start leaving the area...

[Kaa]

If the portly ranger wasn't careful, he would probably trip as he began to leave this forest, for something had been caught around his legs... or, to be precise, something had caught itself around his legs. It was very strong and thick; definitely not a vine or even a root...

Yet, it would probably be obvious to Woodlore now what had trapped him, as, while the mystery object coiled itself around the lower half of his round body, something swiftly emerged in front of the ranger's face; the head of a snake (connected, of course, to a very snake-like body).

"Well, well..." Kaa playfully said in his smooth, silky voice, and made a light chuckle, unable to restrain his joy of finding such perfect prey. "What have we here...?" The snake stared hungrily at Woodlore with his large yellow eyes, continuing to savor his prey's scent with his tongue.

Now, despite his stealth, strength, and hypnosis powers, Kaa was not always the most successful of predators... for, you see, he had a tendency to, out of either or both ignorance and over-confidence, "play with his food," often too much for his own good. It was, alas, a habit he had difficulty with getting rid of...

[woodlore]

The ranger nearly tripped when he found his feet firmly locked together. He looked down to see that his lower body was covered by a snake's skin, and he looked up when he heard a voice. His bespectacled eyes stared into the eyes of a rather huge snake.

"Good morning, Mr. Snake!" the ranger exclaimed. In a polite gesture he raised his hat slightly above his head, revealing a bald top, and carefully placed the hat back on his head when finished. He then reached into his jacket and casually pulled out the guidebook. He thumbed through the pages, just as he did not a minute ago.

"Ah, here it is. Python reticulatus: Typically found in Southeast Asia, python reticulatus is the longest snake in the world." He glanced up from the book to the snake's face. "Say, you're a large one!" He looked back down to the book and continued to read: These tropical inhabitants are excellent swimmers, and can usually be found near small rivers or ponds...

It was clear that the ranger was not intimidated. At least, not at that moment in time.

[Kaa]

The snake's eager grin drooped a little... he was, needless to say, surprised and confused by the human's unexpectedly nonchalant response to being trapped in Kaa's coils. Even more surprising was that the man pulled out some sort of object and began reciting information that was, apparently, about Kaa's own species (how did this human know Kaa liked to swim?)... if Kaa wasn't so hungry, right now, he would certainly be more curious about this.

But, right now, Kaa wasn't going to let this scrumptious morsel get away; meals like this came around only once in a lifetime!

The python moved his head and began to coil his long body around even more of the ranger's figure, his coils eventually reaching the upper half of Woodlore's body. Kaa decided to cut right to the chase, before his prey tried anything funny... humans sure were odd and unpredictable creatures, albeit delicious.

Kaa's face, again, positioned itself directly in front of the ranger's, so that their eyes were locked. The sly grin returned onto the snake's face, as his stare slowly intensified... And, soon enough, what were once vast yellow orbs with black dots swimming around within them became constantly changing, circular, multicolored patterns that looked not unlike something inside of a kaleidoscope. The never-ending movement of the colorful designs seemed bizarrely hypnotizing... Indeed, this was Kaa's favorite and most formidable of his weapons: hypnosis.

Although, one might wonder if hypnosis would work on someone wearing glasses...

[woodlore]

For a moment, Kaa's plans went smoothly; the snake's tightened grip forced Woodlore to drop the book.

"Hmpf!" the ranger criticized. "Even Humphrey had more manners than you!"

The human looked into the snake's eyes, and momentarily succumbed to the python's special ability... until the ranger sneezed, and which comically forced his glasses to fling off of his face, and right onto above Kaa's snout, which made the snake appear to wear glasses naturally.

This brought the ranger out of hypnosis. He shook his head ("Brrrrr!") and could vaguely see the snake wear his spectacles.

"Say!" he exclaimed. "Whoever heard of a snake wearing glasses? Give me those! I can barely see without them!" He fidgeted, trying to free himself from the snake's coil.

[Kaa]

The ranger's sudden sneeze startled the snake, who jolted in surprise, and soon became even more surprised when the strange transparent object that was on the man's face landed so neatly onto his nose. As could be expected... this didn't mix well with the fact that his hypnosis was still in action.

"Wh-wha... Ooooh..." Suddenly feeling very dizzy, Kaa's head (and body... and neck) began to unsteadily wobble... and, due to his current uneasiness, the snake's coils loosely released their grip on the ranger's body, drooping to the ground. Finally, Kaa's head limply fell to the forest floor, his big eyes spinning in a disoriented manner; Woodlore's small spectacles still laid neatly upon the reptile's snout.

"Mmmy head..." Kaa weakly moaned, his head aching from all that strain on his eyes.

[woodlore]

Woodlore cast a frown on the disoriented python. "Serves you right! Those glasses weren't made for your vision."

The ranger bent, grabbed his glasses and placed them back on his nose. Satisfied, he stepped from the limp snake, picked up his book, placed it back into his jacket's pocket and started to trot away. "Heavens to Betsy; at least my bears are orderly!"

[Kaa]

Kaa's eyesight eventually returned to normal, just in time for him to look up and notice the ranger walk away. Kaa, however, did not pursue... he only watched the portly man head off into the forest, feeling defeated. After such a disorienting experience... the snake had a feeling that it just wasn't worth it to try and catch that particular human. Kaa didn't exactly enjoy becoming dizzy and getting a headache... it only added to his already troubling sinus problems.

Kaa sighed, as he hungrily watched the man disappear. "Perhapsss humans really aren't worth the trouble..." he moaned as he slithered off to find something easier to catch, like a rodent or lizard. It was true, almost none of his attempts at catching humans ended well... and seemed to only cause more trouble (and often pain) for Kaa. "... They're jussst far too dangerous," he muttered to himself, looking back at the man one last time before heading off.

"Ooh, this isss not good for my ssssinuses..."