Movie Reviews: Witch Mountain

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Note: This thread contains reviews of three movies: "Escape to Witch Mountain," "Return from Witch Mountain," and "Race to Witch Mountain." There are minor spoilers to be found.

Ah, Witch Mountain. A series of films that's not terribly obscure, but at the same time it isn't as mainstream as some other Disney franchises. I happen to have a soft spot for the Witch Mountain films... and not the made-for-Disney Channel remake--don't even give that a look. I also haven't seen the would-be pilot for a television series, "Beyond Witch Mountain," nor am I likely to. With that said, I do think highly of the original 1975 classic.

I'm just going to get something out of the way. The kids in the Witch Mountain films are, indeed, aliens. This was supposed to be a big reveal in the original movie, but the truth is so very obvious, and therefore the reveal was not surprising at all. So, bear that tip in mind--it wasn't my intention to spoil anything if you haven't seen "Escape to Witch Mountain," but would like to.

Let's begin!

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"Escape to Witch Mountain" (1975)

Sorry... I couldn't find any trailers![/center]

"Escape to Witch Mountain" was pretty different from standard Disney films at the time. It wasn't a musical, nor was it a true comedy. It was a fairly serious tale about two young siblings, Tony (Ike Eisenmann) and Tia (Kim Richards). Tony and Tia are oprhans, and they have no recollection of where they came from, save for a vague recurring vision Tia has.

The most unique thing about the siblings is that they have extraordinary powers. They were gifted with telekinesis, telepathy and kickass harmonica-playing skills (well, Tony was the one with the harmonica). Besides their powers, though, they appeared as ordinary children, but just reserved and scared.

They are eventually targeted by the villainous millionaire, Aristotle Bolt (Frank Milland), whose assistant (Donald Pleasance, aka the bald, flat-talking guy from the original "Halloween" movies and "Creepers/Phenomena") adopts the special children. Said children quickly realize that they aren't safe, and so they run away from Bolt's mansion.

During their travels for self-discovery, they meet Jason O'Day (Eddie Albert). Jason is initially very grumpy and cold, but he has his reasons for possessing a bitter personality; over time, he begins to warm up for the children, and becomes an admirable character.

Over time, Tony and Tia realize who they are: they are aliens from a distant planet. The planet's inhabitants fled because said planet was dying, and they immigrated to earth (galactic foreigners!). However, the ship that held Tony, Tia and their Uncle Bené (Denver Pyle), crashed into an ocean, and the siblings were separated from their uncle.

By the end of the film, though, they find out that Bené is in fact alive, and they all reunite. They hide from a discriminative and evil human society by living in an isolated location where their kind roams on the Earth. This alien-inhabited area is the titular Witch Mountain.

This movie is by no means Disney's best live-action film, but it is in my opinion a very good movie. The characters are likable, the action is engaging, and while the special effects are extremely dated, they provide fun for the family. I've seen this film many times as a child, perhaps most notably in school, and I've enjoyed every viewing.

Overall, this remains the definitive "Witch Mountain" film, and that is why I eventually decided to make Tony and Tia in FK. Partially because they're cute, partially because they could be interesting, but mostly because I just wanted to see some telekinetic alien in Fantasmic Kingdom. Self-indulgence, and the like.

***1/2 out of ****

"LOOK!"

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"Return from Witch Mountain" (1978)

"Return from Witch Mountain" is probably one of the first official sequels in Disney history. This film came out almost three years after the original, and it's actually quite different. Although the first was fun, it had a tone of serious danger throughout the picture. This movie does have dangerous scenarios, but it contains more goofy scenes than the predecessor. Actually, to blunt, this movie is so. Damn. Corny. Yet, somehow, I still like it!

After training their supernatural powers at Witch Mountain, Uncle Bené decides to drop Tony and Tia off in then-present day Los Angeles for a few days as a vacation. Although leaving your kids all alone in LA for a few days is perhaps the most stupid thing one could do, at least Tony and Tia have superpowers.

Their plans are dashed, though, when Tony is abducted by Dr. Victor Gannon (Christopher Lee), and his partner-in-crime, Letha Wedge (the late Bette Davis). Letha and Gannon are assisted by Letha's nephew, Sickle (Anthony James).

That's right, kids; Tony was abducted by Gannon!

"NnnnrrrrrRRRAAAAUUUGGH!!"

Those who wanted to see Tony and Tia together throughout the entire film like in the predecessor were most likely disappointed by this sequel; the rest of the film is literally Tia trying to find and save her older brother. Fortunately, Tia meets up with the Earthquake Gang, ne'er-do-well children that want to be bad... unfortunately, they are really too genial, and with names such as "Dazzler," they really aren't intimidating. ... Hahahaha! Dazzler, really? "I'm DAZZLER!" HAHAHAHA!! Oh, man. Watch your back, 50 Cent; Dazzler is in the hood. There are some particularly dark moments, such as the very concept of mind control, and experiments. By large and far, my favorite scene in this film is near the end, when Tony and Tia are forced to confront each other.

Although this movie sounds fairly hardcore, the truth is I just used pretty words. This movie is really, really corny. It is absolute 70's cheese. Where to begin? Well, the film's score largely consists of "wackita-wackita-wackita" guitar riffs. If you're not into that kind of thing, then how about the special effects? Like the predecessor, they are dated and obvious (though also like the predecessor's, imaginative). But, wait! There's also the acting! Ike Eisnenmann (Tony) is very silent throughout this movie, so he doesn't really get a chance to convey emotions. Of course, he does pull off the "brainwashed" attitude well, and so he is commendable. He was also good in the first film. Kim Richards (Tia), on the other hand, is very melodramatic. She was all right in the first film, but in "Return" she is just very overwrought. She works best when Tia is being sarcastic, but when she's supposed to be afraid, she can't quite pull it off. Bette Davis was a screen legend, but she was really goofy in this film. Actually, the best performance in this film was from Christopher Lee. He's always been one of my favorite actors, and in this film he is dapper yet vicious.

Despite this film being very corny and borderline B-movie quality, I can't help but like it. It's not as good as the first film, don't get me wrong, but it's still very enjoyable if you're in the right mood.

*** out of ****

Up, up and away!

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"Race to Witch Mountain" (2009)

Well, here's our last review! I just watched "Race to Witch Mountain" (2009), starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Jack Bruno, a cab driver who assists this movie's alien siblings, Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig).

If you're wondering what I thought of this movie... I think it's okay. It's not great, but it's not terrible.

Although this film is officially a remake/re-imagining of "Escape to Witch Mountain," it is radically different from the original film... which is good, because that means this film doesn't try to regurgitate. It is by premise the same film, but there are some big differences: the kids speak more intelligently (Tony and Tia lived on earth for several years, while Sara and Seth just crashed in, like, last night), there is a different reasoning for their presence in Earth, and, the biggest change of all, Witch Mountain isn't a colony of aliens--it is pretty much Area 51.

So, this movie is pretty different. It's a bit goofy like the old films, but this is definitely the more action-packed film. It's best described as "violence without blood." There are car chases, gun play, and even an alien antagonist: an assassin known as Siphon. The concept of an alien antagonist was not utilized in the previous "Witch Mountain" films, and he provides some interest. The film's other primary antagonist is a G-man named Henry Burke (Ciarán Hinds)

The performances in this movie are pretty strong. Dwayne Johnson may not be Bogart, but I think he's certainly a step above Keanu Reeves. He is charismatic and a bit endearing in this film, which are safe qualities for a leading character. The love interest of Jack is Dr. Alex Friedman, played by Carla Gugino. Gugino played the first Spectre in "Watchmen," another film currently in theaters. Her performance as a nerdy UFO chaser suits the film well. Alexander Ludwig's Seth is funnily the most serious male protagonist in this film. He's definitely the more "this is hardly a time of levity" type than Jack. It's just amusing to see a young Seth use decidedly intelligent words, but once I got used to it I found Ludwig to have great chemistry with his fellow actors. He is a strong performer. Last, but definitely not least, is AnnaSophia Robb, who plays Sara. AnnaSophia played Violet Beauregarde in Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," but it was her performance as Leslie in "Bridge to Terabithia" that proved she can act. Fortunately, she is also strong in "Race to Witch Mountain," portraying a serious yet endearing alien girl (and, no, Sara's powers does not include transforming into a blueberry). Overall, strong performances for this kind of film.

There are only a few nods to the old films, but the best is in the diner scene. In this film, Kim Richards and Ike Eisenmann plays a waitress and a county sheriff, respectively. Seeing them on screen together in a new "Witch Mountain" film was like being reunited with old friends, even if they played different characters before. I personally dislike the concept of turning Witch Mountain from an unseen alien colony to Area 51, but I didn't expect too much from this movie.

All in all, I thought this movie was descent for what it was. It's certainly not a great movie, and it lacks the heart of "Escape to Witch Mountain," but I've seen much worse. It's at least better than the other "Witch Mountain" remake from 1995. Whoa, "Witch Mountain" has been remade twice now? Dang!

** out of ****

"Hold it... Yeah, I think this is the end of the thread."