Post by Donald Duck on Mar 15, 2010 3:53:21 GMT -8
Same song, second verse.
The good thing about reviewing the sequel of a movie is that, if the same characters are carried over, which is the case with this film, then that means less work for me! Really, that's good, because I couldn't handle explaining the irritating and unlikable Hugo again, let alone the 4chan-popular Rita the fox.
So, what are we waiting for? Let's jump right into Jungledyret 2 - den store filmhelt (1996)! Or, as it is known in America, Hugo the Movie Star.
The movie opens with a bird's eye view of what looks like a vintage, European city (which is weird, because this exact same city later looks more like modern American cities later). The movie's static title immediately appears.
This title is even worse than the last one!
Honestly, does Hugo really need to be next to the title? Imagine if something like that was applied to Silence of the Lambs!
See? It just doesn't look right.
But guess what we're also reminded of?
Him again? Heaven help me...
The camera follows a bird as it flies through the city. It flies by a fair's Ferris wheel, which is completely rendered in CGI, and then the bird flutters to a railroad track. But it turns out that the bird isn't important at all; it's scared off by an incoming train (also CGI), and Rita has a look on her face reminiscent of the face I made when I watched Go Hugo Go.
Rita's mom pays her daughter a visit and, being a great mother, tells Rita to stop thinking about Hugo because he's in the jungle, and she'll likely never see him again. She leaves her daughter after that, demanding her to look at her siblings while she searches for food. Rita's mother certainly is Mrs. Compassion! Rita's siblings tackle their older sister and force her to tell the story about Hugo.
And by the story of Hugo, I mean a recap of the first movie, in song. Crap.
"Remember who you are, Rita. You are a forgettable character, in a poorly animated film. Remember who you are..."
The song (which is unsurprisingly dreadful, by the way) indeed recapitulates the events of the first film, by using some new animation, but mostly footage cut straight from the predecessor. Even Zig and Zag are mentioned!
"Did you call my name again?"
NO!!!
"Sorry."
Izabella, Conrad, the rats, the zoo, they're all displayed in this song. Humorously, one of the lyrics is I'm his best friend, Rita! Really? I had no idea...
The song ends very abruptly when Rita notices that her siblings are fast asleep. She also grunts, groans, and whimpers very annoyingly [?], and then howls at the moon. Just 64 more minutes of this dreck, Joseph. You can do it!
Speaking of Conrad, guess what? He's the main villain of this movie! He suddenly expresses a strong desire to capture Hugo again and put him in a movie. He holds up a picture of Izabella, addresses said picture as his "ex-wife," and then drops the photograph into a trash bin. Wait a minute... Izabella and Conrad were married? Why wasn't that mentioned in the first film? Ah-ha! The answer is: who cares? Conrad enlists the help of Steven Spielberg and Simon Belmont, to capture Hugo. Again. But instead of wanting Hugo just because he's "cute," Conrad this time wants Hugo so the greedy Hollywood CEO can kick off a huge line of merchandise. Just like Spaceballs.
I sure hope Spielberg and Belmont provide laughs! We'll see!
At this point, it's very noticeable that Conrad speaks normally, instead of through clenched teeth. I could argue that this is inconsistent and jarring, but sorry; I honestly don't give a crap. ^^; But what is merchandise without a movie? Conrad decides to continue with Izabella's idea for a movie, Beauty and the Jungle Beast. The part of Beauty has already been signed on: a woman personally coached by Conrad, named Barbie Turner.
Well, at least she's... a little more visually interesting than Izabella?
"Who plays Beast?" Spielberg asks. "He's in the jungle," replies Conrad. And that is where the camera takes us next! This is the funniest scene of the movie for me, because Hugo, standing on an old tree, sings a bad song with the most different-sounding singing voice you can possibly imagine. It is hilarious.
"Is an angel watching closely over me? Can there be a guiding light I've yet to see?"
In an obvious reflection of Rita, Hugo is demanded by his jungle friends to tell the tale of his experience in the human world. Again. During the story, he boasts that he is the rarest and cutest animal in the world. When that statement is questioned by a sloth, Hugo pouts and states he's not finishing the story.
I HATE[/b] this character. Of all of my movie reviews here in Fantasmic Kingdom, I am struggling to think of a protagonist I hate more than this unlikable Hugo. I like Kenai more than this guy!
Sir Sucksalot (Hugo) is convinced to continue the story, and segues into the discussion of Rita. He is obviously very fragile and sincere when talking about Rita. This leaves him depressed, and he is finished telling stories. The animals, though, want to hear more.
"Tell me more! Tell me more! Was it love at first sight?!"
Hugo negates the animals' pleads, and makes it quite clear that he misses Rita. In fact, he screams, "RIIIIIIIIIIITAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" This sudden outburst frightens the animals, and they run away [?]. This outburst gets the attention of Barbie. We finally hear her speak now, and therefore we hear her voice actress. Don't look now, Conrad, but your coaching sucks. Her accent is just as terrible as her delivery. Honestly, these movies have some of the worst voice acting I've ever heard in an animated film, the likes of which I very rarely experience! Barbie is flattered by Conrad's obviously wicked statement: "I'll bulldoze every tree to get Hugo, beginning at sunrise!"
The next morning, the camera zooms through a raindrop-clad spiderweb, which reminds me of Disney's "The Old Mill."
Now you're probably thinking, "Surely, Joseph, you're not implying that Hugo the Movie Star ripped off something from 'The Old Mill!' You wouldn't dare make such a heavy accusation." Well, I sure am! Especially considering that the movie then blatantly rips-off Ferngully!
This movie has no shame whatsoever.
When did this movie turn into a rip-off of Ferngully? I am really missing Ferngully right now. Hell, I miss The Care Bears Adventure in Wonderland! Hugo and his monkey friends try to stop the Leveler (it's what it is; don't you dare dispute me!), but they don't stand a chance. Conrad orders a huge portion of the jungle to be burned to the ground, which he starts. Shouldn't the human natives on this island be trying to stop him, or... something?
Now this is reminiscent of Bambi. This is awful!
Hugo is captured, and the villains' plane returns to the city. Over the studio, the caged-yet-parachute-equipped Hugo is thrown off to avoid customs. Rita notices the plane, and whimpers. I hate this voice acting.
Hugo is taken to his own Hugo-themed room in Conrad's film studio. A goofy animal psychiatrist attempts to calm Hugo down by offering him bananas (peel it down and go mm-mm-mm-mm!), but this doesn't work. Hugo meets a bird from the outside. I guess the bird is the same bird we saw at the beginning of the film, but I could be wrong. Fortunately, the bird knows of Rita, and Hugo delivers her a message. The bird flies to Rita and gives her the message. Elated, the fox says with acting reminiscent of Lucia from Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete, "Take me to him." The bird leads Rita to the studio, but then the bird has to depart to sit on her eggs. Alas, Rita can't infiltrate because of a particularly nasty guard dog.
The filmmakers attempt to coerce Hugo into acting in a scene with a (badly) singing Barbie, but it ends in disaster. Hugo is returned to his room, and is accompanied by the studio's best acting dog, Lizzie. Lizzie receives dog biscuits and eventually a huge portion of food served in a silver platter, all because she obeyed Conrad's commands. She is too full from the dog biscuits to eat the huge portion of food, and she desires to stay in shape. She allows Hugo to dig in. As Hugo (irritatingly) consumes, he asks Lizzie why she obeys and acts. Lizzie's answer? Because she's a movie star, silly!
Rita's voice calls out, and Hugo looks outside the barred window to see the fox. They exchange warm greetings and are thrilled to see each other, but unfortunately the boxes Rita used to get up to the window tumble, and Rita falls to the ground. She is chased out of the studio by the same nasty guard dog. Back in the cell, Lizzie expresses intense, burning disgust over Rita, because she's a fox. Hugo asks Lizzie how she could hate Rita when they have never even met. Lizzie answers quite clearly that she is a racist. She suggests Hugo to forget about Rita and become an actor. Hugo agrees that he'll try to be a better actor.
Did I mention how much I hate this character? Hugo sucks.
The next morning, Hugo wins Conrad's approval because he obeys the CEO. Conrad boasts that Hugo will become his biggest animal star, a comment which does not settle well with Lizzie. Hugo and Conrad head for the set, and Hugo performs his scene most satisfactory. Even Barbie does a great job, what with singing without moving her lips at all! ... Or maybe she's just the worst lip-sync actress in history. The actors and filmmakers congratulate themselves over just one scene. Hugo and Barbie start a particular bond by obnoxious, kid-pandering "humor." After all, nothing displays a wholesome scene of developing friendship like a belch contest.
Hugo is taken back to his room. He is subjected to the raving madness of has-been Lizzie. Hugo tries to escape the next time the door is opened (by Simon Belmont), but his plan fails. He is taken to a new set, and matches wits with a cel-shaded dragon/hydra! The animatronic goes awry, which serves as Hugo's ticket out of the studio. With the suddenly appearing bird's assistance (but she just as soon leaves to return to her nest), Hugo hides from the pursuing Conrad and his men, and follows a train track. He heads for Rita's place.
Hugo the Daring in Dragon's Lair.
Back at Rita's place, the foxy mom leaves again while Rita is left to watch over her siblings. Soon, Hugo finds Rita, and they do reconcile. Hugo asks if he could room in the foxes' den. Rita says that she has permission from her mom to dig her own den, and encourages Hugo to help her dig. Through song! And the song sucks! Oh, come on; are you really that surprised?
Their song ends. They are briefly pestered by Rita's siblings, but then a much bigger threat arrives: the Conrad Cavalry! Hugo and Rita are chased onto a train. Hugo reassures Rita that they will safely jump off the following morning. Rita responds with, "Hmm-mmm!"
HATE.
The next morning, they jump off the train, but the Conrad army is relentless. The duo are chased into a bad acting pig farm. Hugo preaches it (literally), and commences a gospel song. This is too much. The pigs are then liberated! With their assistance, Hugo and Rita successfully evade Conrad and enter the forest.
Hugo gyps a squirrel out of a lot of acorns. I guess Hugo can eat almost anything, huh? Later, Hugo and Rita seek shelter in a tree. And they sing in there. The song... do I really need to say it sucks? Actually, it's a reprise of the song two songs ago. Not that it matters; it still sucks.
Conrad decides to wait until winter to capture Hugo, because he'd be much easier to catch then. When it gets to wintertime, Rita and Hugo have yet another "this friendship is over!" fight. God, they're more on-and-off than Judge Doom. This is because Hugo suggests they both give themselves up to Conrad, because at least they wouldn't go hungry at the movie studio. Rita, offended beyond compare, abandons Hugo. As Hugo walks off, he meets his pig friend, Mathis. Mathis attempts to cheer Hugo up with a bit of physical humor, but Hugo gets offended, and proclaims himself to be "kind and gentle."
Oh, please, Hugo. If you are kind and gentle, then Elvis Presley is still alive and performing in Nashville.
"What are you looking at? Scat!"
I rest my case.
The bird and her family (hubby plus offspring) conveniently find a crying Rita. Rita explains the situation, and the birds suggest going south (by train) for the winter, a la birds. Well, birds don't take trains, but that's neither here nor there. Meanwhile, Hugo eavesdrops on Conrad as he explains to Barbie his plan for the meddlesome Rita. Conrad hopes that after capturing Hugo, he will sic tremendously nasty dogs after Rita, to kill her for the problems she caused him. Barbie is shocked and fired for refusing to allow an innocent animal to be murdered. Hugo, mortified, searches for Rita as she searches for him.
You can try and run away from this movie as much as you want, Hugo. I assure you that you will never live this down.
Hugo and Rita find each other, reconcile (again), and agree to try and catch a train. They can't climb a fence because it is armed with barbed wire, but they find a stream and an opening in the fence. Problem: the stream is frozen solid. Problem solved: they reference (or rip-off, if you're a cynic like me) Bambi by sliding on the ice, through the opening.
I bring you a song, and I'll fail as I go...
Hugo and Rita are pursued by Conrad, his men, and those dogs. Those dogs certainly are vicious; they literally bit through a wired fence with just a single bite. Damn. I could use a guard dog like that, really! Conrad corners Hugo and Rita on the frozen stream, but Mathis shouts twice, "Freedom!" That is not funny. At all. He then forms a giant snowball (with himself as added weight, all by accident, of course) which shatters the frozen stream.
"They call me Mr. Pig!"
The broken stream stops the nasty dogs and the henchmen, but Conrad refuses to go down without a fight. He rises from the water, aims the gun at Hugo at point blank range, and... he is intervened. It seems the pet psychologist and Barbie had a change of heart, as they alerted the police about Conrad's activities. The police surround Conrad, Conrad misfires his gun into the air, the dart falls down and pricks him, and he eventually falls asleep. Mathis waves his friends farewell, as the birds suddenly appear again and accompany Hugo and Rita. I'm very, very surprised that no one who has fallen into the stream has hypothermia right now.
The bird family encourage Hugo and Rita to jump from a bridge and land on the passing train below. They succeed! To celebrate, they sing a crappy song! Oh, boy! It is through this song that they finally profess their love for one another. I wonder what their kids will look like?
You can't see it with this still shot, but the birds are actually animated to rapidly form a heart in the air. Also of note is Rita's eyes in this screenshot.
The ugly CGI train they're in chugs away into the horizon, as Hugo and Rita sing about exploring the world together. So it looks like Hugo doesn't return to the jungle, Rita doesn't see her family again, and... wow. What a sad ending!
I feel so awful, scathingly chastising a cartoon star from Denmark, but I have to be honest. I just don't like Hugo. He's loud, he's annoying, he's unlikable; he's just not a good leading character at all. He's the kind of character you'd expect to see as an annoying sidekick at the most, not as a leading man. Or leading... whatever. Rita is a more interesting character, but even she is subjected to poor acting, so it's impossible to feel a deep connection with her. That goes for everyone, actually. Even if I were to watch these movies with the original language track and subtitles, I'd feel that these movies are derivative and boring. They're not close to being remotely special.
It's also weird how Conrad is the main villain in this movie. In the previous film, Izabella was definitely the central antagonist. In Go Hugo Go, Conrad would at the most be caught up in Izabella's hijinks, but now he's suddenly Mr. "I want that Hugo for mine and mine alone!" His character is inconsistent.
Speaking of inconsistent, the Spielberg-looking character vanishes without warning. I don't remember what happened to Simon Belmont, either. The city Rita and Hugo were in also changed drastically from the first film. In the first film, it looked like an ordinary, urban city at the time. In this movie, however, the city looks more like a vintage European city, before reverting back to looking more American again. Weird.
So, that about wraps up my feelings for the Hugo movies. Hugo the Movie Star (an odd title, considering he's a movie star for less than half of the film) is better than Go Hugo Go, if only slightly. The animation has a more frequent use of CGI (though not all of it is pleasing), but the traditional animation is slightly improved; the songs are dreadful, but not as dreadful as the previous film's songs; and the plot in general is better. But that's not saying diddly squat! The same problems with Go Hugo Go apply to Movie Star. Same abysmal voice acting, same synthesizer-based score that's completely forgettable, and... Hugo, the character.
I do not recommend these movies in any way, shape, or form. They are abysmal. It's great to see anything 2D in this day of age (including nostalgia), and it's also great that a character is so popular in any given country. But it's unfortunate when such a character proves to be hated by me. I do feel bad for saying this, but I hate Denmark's cartoon star, Hugo.
Whew! At least I don't have any other Hugo movies to watch!
... I'll pass.
* out of ****
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Special thanks to Amanda for the Silence of the Lambs gag!
