The Hunter and the Frog

[gaston]

The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, the skies were blue, and Gaston had shot and killed two deer; ah yes, it was the perfect day. The hunter returned from the forest with a satisfied grin on his face, his chest puffed with pride, his arms pumping at his side. Somewhere behind him was LeFou, no doubt struggling with the kills he was expected to drag back. A few houses on the outskirts of the village were dotted across the land and Gaston snatched a tomato from a garden as he passed one of them. The village itself was much more crowded and noisy than the countryside and to avoid the commotion in the busy afternoon, the hunter leaned against the side of a building in an alleyway before taking a large bite out of the tomato while he waited for LeFou.

[Robin]

The Muppets had been saving up for a vacation and had finally put enough away to travel as a group to France (much to the delight of Miss Piggy). Kermit the Frog was leading the group and despite his efforts to keep everyone together, but the others had wanted to do something different and each went their own way with the promise to be back in time for lunch. Robin had tried to stay with his Uncle Kermit, but it was so crowded in the village that the two quickly became separated. Church bells chiming the hour indicated that it was time for lunch and poor Robin was hopelessly lost. He tried to find some help from the locals but people were so focused on their afternoon tasks that nobody had time to pay attention a little frog. Finally Robin found someone who didn’t look too busy at all and as he crossed the street to approach the person, he narrowly avoided being hit by a horse with a cart.

“Umm…” the frog began softly. “Excuse me?” He gazed up hopefully at the tall man who was munching lazily on a tomato.

[gaston]

Gaston swallowed noisily and glanced around, a thick eyebrow raised. He had heard a voice and assumed that it was talking to him, but there was nobody around.

[Robin]

“Down here, sir!” Robin called, raising a webbed hand in the air. The little frog was used to being missed by people.

[gaston]

When Gaston glanced down he immediately thought someone was playing a prank, and this angered the man.

‘All right!’ he called out. ‘Who’s there? Everyone knows frogs can’t talk!’ Somebody was trying to make a fool out of him and nobody makes a fool out of Gaston! Whoever was doing this would be sorry.

[Robin]

“Oh, but they can! In fact many of them do! Honest, there’s nobody here but me. My name is Robin.” The frog hopped on to a barrel beside the man and extended his hand, hoping this would prove that he was telling the truth.

[gaston]

The hunter’s eyes narrowed and after a pause he raised one brow, then the other, and then bolted around the corner. He was surprised to find that there was no one hiding behind it, but this didn’t stop him from trying to figure out what was really going on. Gaston turned and stomped down the alleyway casting careful glances all around hoping to find this joker, yet like before, there was no one hiding behind those buildings either. He returned to the frog that still had his hand outstretched and stared at it like it was some kind of alien creature. After peering about once more, Gaston stroked his chin and ultimately decided that it would do no harm to answer the frog. He leaned forward and said in a quiet voice,

‘What do you want?’

[Robin]

Robin breathed a sigh of relief when the muscular man answered. “I’m looking for my Uncle Kermit,” he replied, lowering his hand. “We’re touring the village and I got lost. Can you help me find him?”

[gaston]

Robin had asked the wrong person. A quizzical look passed over Gaston’s features, which was quickly replaced with an amused one. ‘Your Uncle Kermit? And is he a frog too?’

[Robin]

There was a look in the man’s eyes which made the frog feel very uncomfortable; nevertheless he pressed forward.

“Well… yes.” Robin found the question extremely unusual. Why shouldn’t his uncle be a frog?

[gaston]

‘Yeeees,’ Gaston answered slowly. ‘I think I saw him hanging in a window. Or his legs anyway.’ At the horrified look on the little guy’s face, Gaston burst out laughing and slapped his knee. ‘A frog looking for a frog? Shouldn’t you be searching for a princess?’ Another rain of mirth spilled forth.

[Robin]

“That’s- that’s not funny!” Robin said loudly, trying to be heard over the laughter. “Have you seen my Uncle or not? Please, I really need to find him! We’re supposed to meet for lunch with Miss Piggy, Pepe and-…” But Gaston laughed only louder now.

[gaston]

‘Lunch?’ he repeated, his shoulders shaking. ‘I’m sure you are. Don’t forget…’ Gaston doubled over with laughter. ‘Don’t forget the butter and the garlic.’

[Robin]

It was not amusing in the least to hear about frogs being cooked and Robin didn’t know what he had done to deserve this treatment. “You’re being very rude!” he pointed out. “The least you could do is- wooah!” CRACK!

[gaston]

Whether it was intentional or unintentional, only Gaston would know, but his hand had swung back and his Robin so hard, he flew off the barrel and straight into a brick wall. The frog slid down to the ground unconscious and Gaston wiped the back of his forearm across his mouth.

‘Get lost,’ he told the stunned creature. ‘Or I’ll fry you up with this tomato.’ He took the plump fruit and threw it at Robin where it exploded mush upon impact. Gaston wiped his hand on his trousers and with another laugh turned and left to go find LeFou who was taking far too long to get back.

‘Frog legs,’ he chortled.

[kermit]

After the Muppets had gathered outside the tavern where they planned to eat lunch, Kermit had waited an extra five minutes before deciding that the group should look for Robin since he had disappeared some time ago. He asked that Fozzie Bear stay behind in case his nephew showed up, while the others split into groups and went off to search for him. Kermit was not only worried sick, but he also felt incredibly guilty for losing his young nephew. He was greeted with street sounds instead of replies from the little frog when his name was called and this only made Kermit feel worse. But once! Once he thought he heard Robin cry out and the frog hopped across the street to the alley where he saw a strong looking man leave.

“Robin?” he called out, walking part way into the alley. There was no response and Kermit’s head fell forward. “Robin, where are you?” He sighed and then left the alley, slowly dragging his feet behind him.

Fin.