about my rping

[Two-Tone]

Just curious but how do you all feel about my rping the dalmatian pups and their parents? (as well as my other chars)

any improvements needed? or am I good?

[Miranda Wright]

I think you would greatly benefit from having more detail in your posts. Tell us what your characters are doing, and what do they see, hear, taste, feel, and smell. What are their surroundings like? You know, and so on. *thinks* I'll give you an example.

Example A: "Sam walked to the grocery store. On the way there, he found a kitten and put it inside his coat."

Example B: "Before Sam went out to the local grocery store, he took care to put on his light red-and-white jacket, since the forecaster had said it was going to be windy outside. As he strolled along the street, a soft meowing made him pause and look around for its source. A ball of black fur, a kitten, was peering up at him from a discarded cardboard box. Being an animal lover, Sam picked the tiny frightened animal up and placed it inside his coat before continuing on."

Which is more interesting to you? The second one, right?

Posts with more detail gives your fellow players more to work with too. But you don't need to go that particular route to create a good post. Amanda doesn't write up 60,000 word posts describing every little thing, but you can still get a good sense of action and who her characters are from her posts.

Also, go deeper into your characters' heads. You've gotten the basics of who the dalmatians and Jafar are down (I don't know about Angel or your ghosts, since I'm not very familiar with their characters), but why not flesh them out and show us who they really are? We know Rolly likes to eat, and Two-Tone likes fashion, but is that really all there is to them? Try to show different sides to your characters, and get into their heads.

Finally, I would suggest watching out for run-on sentences and proper capitalization. What you could do is write your posts in Word before posting them here, because spell-check is good for catching grammatical and punctuation errors. However, it would be advisable to double check after using spell-check, since Word sometimes screws up too.

I hope that was helpful.

[Donald Duck]

Nicole's comments are invaluable, I think!

I see that you love the Dalmatian puppies and Jafar, and you're excellent at being active and consistent, Naomi. To avoid just skimming the surface, though, I do recommend taking Nicole's comments to heart, and try to write posts that go beyond just a line or two. Dive deeper into the character, and try to think like the character. Not just say what a character would obviously say, but get into the mentality.

Once you think like your character, more substantial and lengthier posts should be easier to type. Believe me, I've been in this situation and I know. Give it practice, and you'll see!

[Two-Tone]

yeah, for the pups its easy especially for Lucky, Rolly, Two-Tone, Cadpig, and even Dipstick

Pongo and Perdita too

and Jafar is warming up to me, love to use him some more when appropriate

really need to work on Haley, Stitch, and Angel. And my two Haunted Mansion characters