The Game Master

[Princess Peach]

Princess Peach smoothed out her ballgown a bit. Being kidnapped by a mad villain was no excuse for not looking presentable.

"Los villanos are gone, my little churro"

Ah, it was one of her rescuers, a cute, brightly-colored rooster. "Why, thank you, brave hero," she squeaked in her annoying falsetto. "Such bravery deserves a royal reward."

Reaching into the folds of her skirt, Peach pulled out a blue mushroom, handing it to the gallant fowl before moving to take Mario's arm.

What a darling accent, she thought to herself.

[El Tirador]

"Such bravery deserves a royal reward."

Ho, boy! That could only mean one thing! Panchito closed his eyes and puckered up his beak in expectation.

But instead of his lips, it was his hand that felt something soft. Glancing down, the vacquero was puzzled to see nothing but un hongo...a blue mushroom. That's her idea of a reward for saving your life?

Meanwhile, the girl was busy making eyes at that dumpy hombre with the huge mustachios. Panchito shook his head in wonderment; he'd thought becoming a super-hero was supposed to make him a chick magnet.

If this is the princess I think it is, she is currently taken

Too true. But there was just no accounting for taste.

[The Wastelander]

Wastelander still hadn't figured out why he and his friends had an entire world inside their TV, but decided to make the most of the situation. He started by giving El Tirador the low down on the women folk of Nintendo.

"Hey Tirador," he said, "Here's some decent advice for ya. I happen to now which women in this universe are most likely to be single." He created a list with some of his paint a list and showed it to El Tirador.

"As you can see," he said, "There are a lot of single ladies on this list. Here's the catch, though. Princess Peach over there is Mario's girl." He then pointed out a brunette in a purple and white medieval dress. "That is Zelda," he said, "She's Link's girl. Mario may not be a problem for you, but Link will put a cap in your ass if you mess with Zelda. Just stick with this list and you should be fine. Just don't blame me if a couple of them slap you in the face."

[El Tirador]

El Tirador took the list eagerly, though not without comment.

"I never steal another hombre's girlfrien', amigo. Unless she really wants to...how you say, break up with him."

"An' I never get my face slapped," he added with undisguised pride. Because Panchito always treated a lady like a lady. And he was very adept at dodging.

[The Wastelander]

"Just thought you'd like to know how things wwork here is all," Wastelander said, "Didn't mean to offend. There are more important matters to attend to. I managed to spot a library while trying to figure out where we are. We might be able to find something that can tell us what the heck that Triforce of Darkness thing The Game Master was talking about is."

The Wastelander rushed into the Liar's library and almost immediately spotted a book titled "The Lost Artifacts of Nintendo." He opened the book to a page that had the illlustration of a bright green Triforce on it. "This must be the Triforce of Darkness When Wastelander read the description, he shuddered. "Hey, guys," he called to all the other Dreamers, "I think I found out what The Game Master is after."

[El Tirador]

El Tirador followed his rabbitty companion into the room. Nothing but books. He stifled a yawn, although Wastelander seemed interested in one.

This must be the blah, blah, blah

At least, that's the way it sounded to Panchito. Weren't there any more bad hombres to fight?

After about a minute and a half of this, the vacquero had about reached his boredom threshold, and started to plan a practical joke to liven things up. Like maybe...a firecracker or two...he began to eye el fontanero with the mustache.

[The Wastelander]

Wastelander ignored El Tirador's yawn and went straight to the point. "It says here," he continued, "that anyone who weilds the Triforce of Darkness can morph all universes in the image of the darkness in his soul. Don't you see, Tirador. With the Triforce of Darkness, The Game Master could take over not only this world, but ours as well."

[The Green Bone]

"Triforce of Darkness? That didn't sound good" Green Bone turned to the others, his aura faded out as he approached the other League members. He stopped looking toward Peach and Mario. A feeling of familiarity came over the pup as if he seen them before.

[The Wastelander]

"But there is a way to stop The Triforce of Darkness," Wastelander continued, flipping to a page showing a blade that look like Reshiram from Pokemon Black in keyblade form.



"This sword is called the Light Sword," Wastelander continued, "it is the only thing that can stop whoever tries to use The Triforce of Darkness. It says here that it has been hidden for centuries for safe keeping and only one hero can use it."

He turned the page to see if they had a picture of this prophesied hero. To his surprise, he saw himself holding the blade and facing off with The Game Master, with Green Bone and El Tirador beating up any army of Ghost Type Pokemon.

"Guys," Wastelander called, "I think I know why The Game Master wants to kill us."

[El Tirador]

Still looking around for something of interest, El Tirador craned his neck to peer over Wastelander's shoulder at the pages of the book he held. He tilted his sombreroed head to the side. Then turned it a bit more. Any farther, and he'd be standing on his head.

"What is that theen'?" he asked of the picture in the book. It looked like the bleached bones of some weird animal. With a shrug, he turned away. Nothing of interest in that book.

Tossing the blue mushroom from hand to hand experimentally, he began to imagine how that mustachioed hombre would look with it splatted all over the back of his head.

[The Wastelander]

"Did I not just say what this was?" Wastelander said, annoyed with El Tirador's lack of focus, "This is the Light Sword, the only thing that can stop The Game Master if he finds the Triforce of Darkness." He turned back to the page featuring himself, Green Bone, and El Tirador. "This is the reason The Game Master wants us dead," he explained, "According to this, I'm the only one that can use the sword. You and Green Bone are probably in here as back up."

Wastelander kept flipping through the book to see if it said where The Light Sword was. He found the answer when he discovered a map that lead through The Mushroom Kingdom (from Mario), Dreamland (from Kirby), Hyrule (from Legend of Zelda), and Unova (From Pokemon Black and White). This trail led toward a rainbow tinted version of Princess Peach's Castle labeled "Nintendo Land".

This map was exactly what Wastelander was looking for. "Perfect," he said, "All we got to do is follow this map, get the sword, and take down The Game Master. Also, it says here threr is an ultimate Warp Zone that can take us back home when we get the Light Sword. Any questions?"

[El Tirador]

"Si, a sword, I get it, amigo," answered El Tirador, stifling a yawn.

Panchito didn't know anything about swordplay; and besides, where was the fun in a weapon that didn't go 'ka-boom'? Apparently only Wastelander could use the thing anyway.

But, finding it might mean activity after such a long time doing absolutely nothing, in which case, the vacquero was for it.

"Hokay, my frien', what are we waiteen' for? Let us find this theen' an' fight us some bad hombres!" And he took out his pistolas, just to twirl them around his fingers a bit and look cool.

[The Game Master]

“I beg to differ,” said what appeared to be an ink covered clone of Sonic the Hedgehog with the voice of John O’ Hurly, “The Game Master forbids it.” The inky hedgehog then did a homing attack aiming straight for The Wastelander.

[Princess Peach]

After tending to her hair and make-up for a bit, Peach thought she'd take a look at how the rescuers were progressing. Turning her too-wide baby blues in their direction, the princess spotted an inky blur racing toward the rabbitty hero.

"Watch out, noble warrior!" For it was ever her lot in life to warn heroes of impending attacks, along with presenting them useful tools on certain occasions.

Well, she'[d done her part. Maybe Peach would write him a note later.

[The Wastelander]

The Wastelander heard Peach's call and jumped out of the way just in time to see the inky hedgehog splat into a bookcase.

"Looks like someone's working for The Game Master," he said, "Hey, guys. Could you back me up on this one? I need to make sure he doesn't get away."

Wastelander used his Paint chemicals to make a rope to tie up the ink covered fiend.

"Alright, big boy," he said, puffing up his chest, "We know about The Game Master's plan to take over all worlds. What I want to know is who we take on first to take him down. I suppose you're not the only video game character under his control."

[The Game Master]

"What are ya gonna do," the ink clone asked, "Kill me. Ha. You ain't got the heart for it."

The ink covered hedgehog knew a goody two shoes type when he saw one. Unfortunately, he also knew that goody two shoes don't let go of enemies when insulted.

"You're right about one thing, rabbit," he said, answering Wastelander's question, "There are more like me, brainwashed versions of the most evil beings in this realm. Bowser, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, and King Dedede are all now minions to The Game Master. I'd like to see you try to take them on."

Suddenly, the inky rodent turned into a floating blob of ink and flew out the window of the library, most likely to return to his master.

[Princess Peach]

The ink clone escaped, as ink clones were wont. It was clearly time to move on. And it looked like the heroes needed a gentle nudge to get them going in the right direction.

"You have a map, brave ones. Now is the time to use it. You won't defeat anyone standing around here," squeaked Peach. "May I suggest the Mushroom Kingdom as a suitable jumping-off place?"

Striking her best Vanna White pose, the pink princess indicated a portal in the wall, black as night. No one could see what was on the other side. "Leap through, champions, and find the light sword!"

[The Wastelander]

"Peach has a point," Wastelander said, "There's no use in waiting for the others. Let's go."

Wastelander leaped through the portal and discovered that the blackness of the portal slowly transformed into The Mushroom Kingdom.

However, the Mushroom Kingdom was different from how it looked on the games back home. The toad house roofs were orange and black instead of their usual red and white, all the water had turned to fire, and Princess Peach's Castle was shaped like Bowser's head.

"Looks like The Game Master's been here already," Wastelander thought to himself, "He must have brainwashed Bowser while he was here."

[Princess Peach]

"Oh, my poor, poor castle," squeaked a voice. Princess Peach had decided to come through the portal as well, mainly because her rescuers might need a helping mushroom or two along the way.

But now she could only stare at what had once been her beautiful kingdom, tears starting in her too-wide eyes.

"We must turn it back to its original splendor," she cried.

[El Tirador]

El Tirador leaped through the portable hole, or whatever it was, to land beside his companions in as inhospitable-looking a landscape as he'd ever seen.

"This is really the badlands, no?" Apparently, the bad hombres had done a little redecorating.

"Don' worry, querida," he consoled the girl, "We will find los villanos an' make them pay for this." He still harbored hopes that, if their quest was successful, he might win Peach's heart.