Post by Alice on Oct 6, 2008 23:56:59 GMT -8
Remember "Mulan," back in 1998? That was a great film, wasn't it? It's known to certain people, myself included, as the Last Truly Great 2D Animated Disney Film. So, naturally, this genuinely good Disney film was a prime target for an unnecessary direct-to-video sequel. Sure enough, the sequel, aptly titled "Mulan II," was released in 2005, and it wasn't until now that I've summoned the courage to check it out. Was it good?
Of course not!
There are so many problems with "Mulan II," I don't even know where to start. So let's start with the plot. After an excruciatingly painful intro with Mushu (setting the tone for this film), Mulan sings a song to little girls, and the song encourages the listener to be "hard like a rock, and walk firm" (!). At least she didn't sing this double entendre of a song to little boys. Anyway, Mulan and Shang, just as the first film ended, are in love, but it isn't until this sequel that Shang asks the actual question, and Mulan accepts. The two are different in certain areas, but they're in love, so it's all good!
Unfortunately, this is where the film's creators really screwed up: some of the characters are unbelievably out of character. Mushu is a prime example, as he is really this film's antagonist. I hate toning down my filthy mouth, but he is a jerk. Apparently, if Shang and Mulan were to marry, Shang's guardians would replace Mushu (or something like that), leaving Mushu out of a role. What should Mushu have done? Well, Mushu should have remembered how much he loves and cares for Mulan, and allow her to be happy with her marriage. But no. Mushu decides to screw up Shang and Mulan's mission from the Emperor of China, and that mission is to escort his three daughters (princesses, no less) to some kingdom so they can marry, and bring harmony. Mulan protests, Shang obeys, and Mushu decides to use this mission to split the couple, for his own gain.
Holy crap, is Mushu out of character. Oh, my God. It is as if he's a completely different character.
Three other things about Mushu that annoy me to no end: 1) he's voiced by a different guy. That's understandable, because Eddie Murphy hasn't been known to voice Mushu in anywhere but the original film. But, gosh, it's just creepy to hear a white man voice Mushu. 2) Mushu has creepy, expressionless eyes. I'm not kidding; in several parts of the movie his eyes are big and glossy, and they don't have any feeling to speak of. It's just freaky. And 3) Mushu constantly breaks the fourth wall by addressing the audience about his plan, as if he's catching me falling asleep while watching this dreck. "Hey, lis'en up! This is my plan! Got it? I'm gonna tell ya again!" Jeez. What the hell are you, Mushu? A Looney Tune? He's so despicable in this film that it's just depressing. And he doesn't get what he deserves in the end. Man alive.
Anyway, I have to wonder why Mulan protests so much. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in arranged marriages, but didn't the Emperor of China say that the fate of China hangs on the fate of this mission? He said something about the Chinese being destroyed or killed if this mission is a failure. Lives will be lost. So why is Mulan trying to go against this? Again, I don't believe in arranged marriages, but even I have a sense of duty for one's country! If three marriages will prevent the deaths of countless people, then so be it, I say. Of course, everything works out in the end because Mulan follows her heart (surprise!), but she still did not know that would happen at the time. It could have ended badly if she didn't completely fulfill her mission... that would've probably made a better movie.
Anyway, the three princesses are the big focus of this movie. I've heard quite a bit of positive response to them. While I can say that they are in fact probably the best part of this film, I cannot say that I fell in love with them. Actually, I thought they were somewhat annoying at parts (especially in their song). I think they stood out to a lot of people because they are probably the only characters in this movie that actually have personality, and in a film with poorness everywhere, that makes them stand out. They may be the best part of the film, but that doesn't mean they are anywhere near being Disney's greatest creations. Put them against Belle from Beauty and the Beast, or even Mulan herself, in the context of the first film. Those princesses aren't so hot-looking anymore, eh? At least one of the princesses was voiced by Lucy Liu. And even I have to admit that the Emperor of China has it going in the genes department. Yuk, yuk, yuk!
The princesses are the counterparts of three characters from the first film, and said characters return in this film: Yao (black eye), Ling (nose) and Chien-Po (fat). The personalities of Yao and Chien-Po remain more or less intact, but Ling is manipulated to being a horrendous joker. Even if they were purposely meant to be bad, Ling's jokes are bad. To be honest, Ling is less funnier than Dane Cook, and that is really saying something!
Sad to say, there's yet another character who's blatantly out of character, and that would be General Shang. He was strong, noble and often brash in the first film, yet in the end he exposes his true feelings for Mulan. In this movie, he's stupid. He used to be a proud Chinese warrior; now he's a damn Ritz Brother. There's a scene in this film where he is chased around by animals, thanks to Mushu. It's painful. Absolutely painful.
Wait a second... he's chased around by animals? Oh, my God. This reminds me of a terrible scene from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom." How about that? A terrible scene in a terrible movie that is similar to a terrible scene in a... well, "Temple of Doom" isn't terrible, but it's definitely the weakest Indiana Jones fi--I'm not reviewing that film! Stay focused!
Speaking of painful, this movie has stupid and unoriginal jokes, just like in "Cinderella III." By jove, that's the word I was looking for! This movie is unoriginal. No originality to be found here. It uses some tired jokes that were in previous Disney films, and even the songs themselves feel so tired. Especially the song Yao, Ling and Chien-Po sing: "A Girl Worth Fighting For." That's right, they sing a song from the first "Mulan," only the lyrics are different in "Mulan II". That's just plain wrong. First of all, guess which movie had the better version of the song? Secondly, taking a previous melody and adding new lyrics to it is just lazy. Anyone can take an already existing tune and slap new lyrics on it. And the original songs are so bland and forgettable that they're amazing. Mulan's song about balance closely mirrors Merlin's song about what makes the world go round. Maybe I'm biased, but Merlin's song is of course superior. Did the filmmakers even try to make a compelling movie? If they did, they screwed up royally.
Is there anything about this movie I like? Well, I wouldn't use the word "like," but there are three things in this film that stood out to me: the princesses, even if they themselves couldn't save the film; the decent music score by Joel McNeely, although Joel is no Jerry Goldsmith (rest in peace, Jerry! I love your music!); and there's one scene where Mulan is greatly upset and stabs the ground with her sword, crying hard, and with the rain pouring down on her. This scene is the closest the film ever has to a 'good' scene.
There is one thing about the ending that is simply poor: in the very last scene, Yao, Ling and Chien-Po and the princesses vanish completely. They were a huge focus of the movie, and they're not even seen in a resolution. If these important characters won't receive proper conclusion, then why include them and pretend they're important in the first place? That's bad storytelling.
Despite this horrendous mess, I've actually seen worse. But that doesn't say anything, because I've also seen much, much, much better. I think to close this review, I will attempt to create a pseudo-Chinese proverb. "Like a Tootsie Roll Pop, 'Mulan II' has sucked throughout its course." Or 'has been sucked,' I dunno--whatever, you get it. I think this movie sucks.
* out of ****
Your fortune: "You will experience conflicts today."
Of course not!
There are so many problems with "Mulan II," I don't even know where to start. So let's start with the plot. After an excruciatingly painful intro with Mushu (setting the tone for this film), Mulan sings a song to little girls, and the song encourages the listener to be "hard like a rock, and walk firm" (!). At least she didn't sing this double entendre of a song to little boys. Anyway, Mulan and Shang, just as the first film ended, are in love, but it isn't until this sequel that Shang asks the actual question, and Mulan accepts. The two are different in certain areas, but they're in love, so it's all good!
Unfortunately, this is where the film's creators really screwed up: some of the characters are unbelievably out of character. Mushu is a prime example, as he is really this film's antagonist. I hate toning down my filthy mouth, but he is a jerk. Apparently, if Shang and Mulan were to marry, Shang's guardians would replace Mushu (or something like that), leaving Mushu out of a role. What should Mushu have done? Well, Mushu should have remembered how much he loves and cares for Mulan, and allow her to be happy with her marriage. But no. Mushu decides to screw up Shang and Mulan's mission from the Emperor of China, and that mission is to escort his three daughters (princesses, no less) to some kingdom so they can marry, and bring harmony. Mulan protests, Shang obeys, and Mushu decides to use this mission to split the couple, for his own gain.
Holy crap, is Mushu out of character. Oh, my God. It is as if he's a completely different character.
Three other things about Mushu that annoy me to no end: 1) he's voiced by a different guy. That's understandable, because Eddie Murphy hasn't been known to voice Mushu in anywhere but the original film. But, gosh, it's just creepy to hear a white man voice Mushu. 2) Mushu has creepy, expressionless eyes. I'm not kidding; in several parts of the movie his eyes are big and glossy, and they don't have any feeling to speak of. It's just freaky. And 3) Mushu constantly breaks the fourth wall by addressing the audience about his plan, as if he's catching me falling asleep while watching this dreck. "Hey, lis'en up! This is my plan! Got it? I'm gonna tell ya again!" Jeez. What the hell are you, Mushu? A Looney Tune? He's so despicable in this film that it's just depressing. And he doesn't get what he deserves in the end. Man alive.
Anyway, I have to wonder why Mulan protests so much. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in arranged marriages, but didn't the Emperor of China say that the fate of China hangs on the fate of this mission? He said something about the Chinese being destroyed or killed if this mission is a failure. Lives will be lost. So why is Mulan trying to go against this? Again, I don't believe in arranged marriages, but even I have a sense of duty for one's country! If three marriages will prevent the deaths of countless people, then so be it, I say. Of course, everything works out in the end because Mulan follows her heart (surprise!), but she still did not know that would happen at the time. It could have ended badly if she didn't completely fulfill her mission... that would've probably made a better movie.
Anyway, the three princesses are the big focus of this movie. I've heard quite a bit of positive response to them. While I can say that they are in fact probably the best part of this film, I cannot say that I fell in love with them. Actually, I thought they were somewhat annoying at parts (especially in their song). I think they stood out to a lot of people because they are probably the only characters in this movie that actually have personality, and in a film with poorness everywhere, that makes them stand out. They may be the best part of the film, but that doesn't mean they are anywhere near being Disney's greatest creations. Put them against Belle from Beauty and the Beast, or even Mulan herself, in the context of the first film. Those princesses aren't so hot-looking anymore, eh? At least one of the princesses was voiced by Lucy Liu. And even I have to admit that the Emperor of China has it going in the genes department. Yuk, yuk, yuk!
The princesses are the counterparts of three characters from the first film, and said characters return in this film: Yao (black eye), Ling (nose) and Chien-Po (fat). The personalities of Yao and Chien-Po remain more or less intact, but Ling is manipulated to being a horrendous joker. Even if they were purposely meant to be bad, Ling's jokes are bad. To be honest, Ling is less funnier than Dane Cook, and that is really saying something!
Sad to say, there's yet another character who's blatantly out of character, and that would be General Shang. He was strong, noble and often brash in the first film, yet in the end he exposes his true feelings for Mulan. In this movie, he's stupid. He used to be a proud Chinese warrior; now he's a damn Ritz Brother. There's a scene in this film where he is chased around by animals, thanks to Mushu. It's painful. Absolutely painful.
Wait a second... he's chased around by animals? Oh, my God. This reminds me of a terrible scene from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom." How about that? A terrible scene in a terrible movie that is similar to a terrible scene in a... well, "Temple of Doom" isn't terrible, but it's definitely the weakest Indiana Jones fi--I'm not reviewing that film! Stay focused!
Speaking of painful, this movie has stupid and unoriginal jokes, just like in "Cinderella III." By jove, that's the word I was looking for! This movie is unoriginal. No originality to be found here. It uses some tired jokes that were in previous Disney films, and even the songs themselves feel so tired. Especially the song Yao, Ling and Chien-Po sing: "A Girl Worth Fighting For." That's right, they sing a song from the first "Mulan," only the lyrics are different in "Mulan II". That's just plain wrong. First of all, guess which movie had the better version of the song? Secondly, taking a previous melody and adding new lyrics to it is just lazy. Anyone can take an already existing tune and slap new lyrics on it. And the original songs are so bland and forgettable that they're amazing. Mulan's song about balance closely mirrors Merlin's song about what makes the world go round. Maybe I'm biased, but Merlin's song is of course superior. Did the filmmakers even try to make a compelling movie? If they did, they screwed up royally.
Is there anything about this movie I like? Well, I wouldn't use the word "like," but there are three things in this film that stood out to me: the princesses, even if they themselves couldn't save the film; the decent music score by Joel McNeely, although Joel is no Jerry Goldsmith (rest in peace, Jerry! I love your music!); and there's one scene where Mulan is greatly upset and stabs the ground with her sword, crying hard, and with the rain pouring down on her. This scene is the closest the film ever has to a 'good' scene.
There is one thing about the ending that is simply poor: in the very last scene, Yao, Ling and Chien-Po and the princesses vanish completely. They were a huge focus of the movie, and they're not even seen in a resolution. If these important characters won't receive proper conclusion, then why include them and pretend they're important in the first place? That's bad storytelling.
Despite this horrendous mess, I've actually seen worse. But that doesn't say anything, because I've also seen much, much, much better. I think to close this review, I will attempt to create a pseudo-Chinese proverb. "Like a Tootsie Roll Pop, 'Mulan II' has sucked throughout its course." Or 'has been sucked,' I dunno--whatever, you get it. I think this movie sucks.
* out of ****
Your fortune: "You will experience conflicts today."
